


Firefly

by whizzerdbrown



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Coming of Age, M/M, Modern AU, Slow Burn, but james is only used in the prologue and during flashbacks, but not as bad as canon act one marvin, lydia is two years older, marvin is kind of an ass, marvin is three years older than whizzer, more like a lovable ass, none of the other characters are present, sort of whizzer centric???, takes place over multiple years during the summertime, whizzer has an older sister names lydia, whizzer's real name is james
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 20,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whizzerdbrown/pseuds/whizzerdbrown
Summary: The summers of Whizzer Brown’s childhood were always spent at his grandparents’ lake house, playing out by the water and roasting marshmallows and chasing fireflies with his older sister. Gradually, though, people got older and things changed.It was the summer between sixth and seventh grade when Whizzer first met Marvin Blumenfeld, the son of the neighbors to the right of his grandparents house. Marvin was older, tenth grade, but Whizzer bugged him until they became ‘friends’ because his sister had finally started gaining interest in boys rather than playing with her thirteen-year-old brother.They hung out and talked every summer since then, each summer somehow bringing them closer and closer.{Partially based off of the song ‘Summer Skeletons’ by Radical Face.}





	1. prologue

The fire crackled loudly from the middle of the yard, where Ada and Edmund Brown sat in their matching old camp chairs to watch their grandchildren run wild and free. Lydia and James Brown, the children, eight and six years old respectively, were having the time of their lives for the third summer in a row. Chasing fireflies while their grandparents roasted them hot dogs for dinner, because that seemed to be all they would eat at their picky years. 

“Look, James,” Lydia spoke in a soft voice, abruptly stopping in her tracks and causing the boy in question to accidentally bump into his sister’s back. She shushed him. 

James’s gaze followed his sister’s point, to the sole firefly left to light up this area, at the very end of the dock that led out to Grandpa Edmund’s row boat. 

“I’m gonna catch it,” he proclaimed, in the six-year-old boy’s version of a whisper. 

Lydia gave him a look. “You’ll fall in the water, and you’ll drown.”

“I won’t drowned.”

“You will too,” she stated, her arms now at her hips like the little lady she was soon becoming to be. “And I can’t save you, because I can’t swim. I’d have to go get Gramma and Grampa, and by then it would be too late. Because, you see how far away from us they are?”

James looked over to their grandparents. “Not far. If they run, I won’t drowned.”

“They’re too old to run. Old people are slow.”

That made the boy giggle. 

Lydia was smiling, too, but her response didn’t reflect it. “I’m serious, James William Brown. You will drown if you go out there, and then-”

But he got away. He ran, taking off toward the docks, leaving Lydia to her lonesome in that small grassy patch by the tree. She could hear his bare feet pounding against the wood as he ran, watched his brown hair blowing back out of his face from the wind of his speed, hearing his childish giggles as he knew he was about to prove her wrong. 

She covered her eyes in fear as the boy reached the end of the dock, looking as if he had no real intentions of stopping. But the splash never came. Slowly, the girl uncovered her eyes and looked out for her brother.

And there he stood, at the very edge of the dock, with his hands out in front of him, a shocked look on his face. “Lydia! I caught it, Lydia! Come look, I caught it!”

And he had. James had caught the firefly, successfully, without accidentally falling into the lake and drowning. Thus, starting their annal firefly-catching tradition.

***

When Lydia was ten - making James, who now also went by the nickname ‘Whizzer’ thanks to his Little League baseball team, eight years old - the two of them were allowed to roast their own food at the fire. Hot dogs and marshmallows, usually, but James also liked to cook any food item he could get his hands on. And his grandparents would let him, generally, because a person was only this young and curious for a short amount of time before they didn’t care anymore.

James sat on his Grandma Ada’s lap, holding a pickle out over the fire from his s'mores stick. “It will be delicious,” he declared, though he didn’t even like pickles.

Lydia thought it was funny, watching her brother roast weird foods. She would always turn around and dare their grandfather to eat it, whatever it was, and both of the children would always scream in disgust when Edmund actually _would_ eat it. Then they would turn around and find something even nastier to roast and have him eat. They always laughed when Ada would playfully announce that she would never kiss Edmund again. 

Lydia eventually became more of a daredevil than James was. She once took the stick from him and came back with a large beetle on the end of it, roasting that poor thing in the fire. James always hid behind Grandpa Edmund when she did that, at least until he knew for sure that the thing was dead. Lydia could only do this when Grandma Ada was inside, because she strongly believed in never killing a bug, no matter how nasty it was and even if it was inside the house. 

Their new ability to roast things over the fire, however, could never overtake their love for running around the yard and up and down the dock, catching fireflies. They started bringing along a little ball jar with them, for easier catching. Sometimes, they’d end up with ten or thirty or fifty fireflies in there. They’d always showcase their findings to their grandparents before letting them free once again, back into the starry, summer night sky, before returning indoors for baths and bed. 

Bed, where they would stay up past their bedtime, thinking that they were being secretive with their hushed conversations - even though their grandparents knew very well that the two of them weren’t asleep until hours after midnight. 

That’s what summers were for. Staying up late, laughing, enjoying the company of those around them, no electronics, and catching fireflies. Why would they need anything else?

***

Then Lydia turned fifteen, and she got a boyfriend. All of her summertime was spent indoors, upstairs, in their old room that she had kicked James out of. James, thirteen now, was left to sleep alone in the attic - which he used to be afraid of. Left to watch the fireflies alone.

But not truly alone, because he still spent the time with Grandma Ada and Grandpa Edmund. He was still with people he loved, he still left his phone turned off and laid on his bed in the attic for the large majority of the day, he still talked and laughed and had fun with his grandparents - but he was lonely. He didn’t have Lydia - his sister, his closest friend. 

He still chased the fireflies. He may have been thirteen then, and he may have been doing it alone, but he still did it. He still caught tons of them in that little ball jar, and he still showed them off to his grandparents before letting them go, but it wasn’t the same anymore. 

That was when James met Marvin, on the last day of summer.

Marvin Blumenfeld, who was sixteen years old. A year and a few months older than Lydia. Marvin, who was the son of Margaret and Arnold Blumenfeld, the neighbors of Ada and Edmund. They had moved in the previous September, while James and Lydia were off in the large city with their parents, for school. 

Marvin had been sitting out on his own dock, in the yard of his parents house. James had snuck away from his grandparents, coming out to Marvin’s dock.

“Hey!”

Marvin ignored him.

“Jerk. I know you hear me.”

“What do you want?”

James took that as an invitation to join him.

Marvin was a lone wolf. Very antisocial. Homeschooled, which James decided explained everything. 

“What’s your name?” James questioned him, with a cheerful grin.

The older boy was quiet for a moment, before huffing out a reply. “Marvin.”

James snickered. “Old school.”

“Oh, like yours is any better.”

James thought about that for a moment. His name was _also_ oldschool. So, without really thinking it through - “Actually, no. Mine’s Whizzer. Like- Like the motorbikes.”

Marvin gave him a look, looking him up and down. James briefly worried that Marvin saw through his fib, but Marvin’s gaze was returned out in front of him, to the lake. “It suits you, I guess. It’s _weird_ as hell.”

James pushed Marvin into the water without a second thought, before getting up and running away. 

***

“Where did you go?”

James jumped, nearly falling off of the dock. There stood Marvin. James had almost forgot about him. “I’m sorry, what?”

Marvin had his hands stuck in the pockets of a red hoodie, despite the summer’s heat. “You shoved me into the lake last summer and then you left, and I’ve not seen you around for about a year. Where’d you go? Afraid that I’d kill you?”

“No. I know you couldn’t kill me.” James answered, with easy confidence. “You’re too short-”

And then came Marvin’s turn to shove him off the dock.


	2. friends?

Lydia kept ignoring him. Of course she did. All she cared about nowadays was her stupid boyfriend - the boyfriend that Whizzer knew was bad news. She seemed to have a new boyfriend every summer. Whizzer wished that he was lucky enough to get a boyfriend, but all of the boys at their school were gross. And straight. (All except for himself, of course.) All of Lydia’s boyfriends were gross. 

Whizzer Brown was fifteen, and found being the only out gay boy in high school to be a blast. It brought along lots of friends, even though a lot of them seemed to be only looking for a GBF, and he got a lot of extra attention. Which he needed. But none of that _mattered_ during the summer, because the people he was friends with weren’t great at texting back. And they didn’t really seem to want to text him when they knew that he was a few states away, with his sister and grandparents in a lake house. 

That was fine, sometimes. Because, sometimes, Lydia would talk to him. And the other times, he’d talk to Grandpa Edmund and Grandma Ada. The two of them _loved_ Whizzer’s company, because they only got to see him from the end of May to the beginning of August. Whizzer wished there was a school district in this area, because he would much rather stay with his grandparents than with his mother and father. His parents were nice, they loved him and he loved them back, and they treated him well, but they were _bland._

But, sometimes, Whizzer just felt so _alone._ And he couldn’t stand it, because he lived for attention, craved human contact and conversation. And he couldn’t get that when Lydia was holed up in her bedroom - that they used to share - and when his grandparents were doing something else or in bed. They seemed to be getting tired earlier and earlier each summer. 

Those were times when Whizzer would sit outside and argue with Marvin. It was stupid, and Whizzer kind of hated the arguing part, but it gave him what he wanted. Attention and conversation. 

More often than not, though, it ended up with one of them in soggy clothes. (More often than not, it seemed to be Whizzer getting shoved into the lake.)

“Can we just not?” Whizzer tried one night, right before Marvin had raised his hands to push him under. 

Marvin paused, though. “Not _what?”_

“Argue.” Whizzer rolled his eyes. “It’s dumb. We hardly know each other and we’re arguing over the stupidest shit just so we don’t _have_ to know each other.”

“Watch your mouth. You’re, like, twelve.”

“Fifteen, and no.”

Marvin smirked. “Alright, fine, smartass. If we don’t argue, then what are we supposed to do?”

Whizzer gave him an incredulous look. “Uh, are you serious? Have you ever heard of _getting along?_ You know, becoming _friends?”_

 _“You_ want to be _my_ friend.”

“Why not? I don’t see any other hopeless losers out here for either one of us to be friends with.”

And that’s all it took for Marvin to agree. They still argued, and wouldn’t consider themselves the other’s ‘friend.’ But, more often than not, their conversations started out with stupid question and answer games, to get to know each other, before the arguing set in. Still, somehow, each night did end up with one of them being shoved into the water. It was like a ritual. 

Then, one night, when Whizzer went to shove Marvin into the water, Marvin grabbed Whizzer’s other hand and ended up dragging Whizzer into the water with him. 

“Hey-!” Whizzer complained, but couldn’t stop himself from laughing. 

Marvin was chuckling as well, splashing Whizzer in the face before he had the chance to make another complaint.

Whizzer was quick to retaliate, splashing Marvin right back. They were there for hours, splashing the lake water at each other’s faces and laughing like children, not stopping until they realized just how late it had gotten.

Or, well, just how _early._ The sky was already starting to get bright again. Whizzer gave one last, large splash in Marvin’s direction before going underwater and swimming away. 

***

Whizzer awoke at noon, due to Lydia banging on the door of the attic. Well, the attic-made-bedroom. 

“What?” Whizzer groaned.

“Get up!” Lydia called. “There’s some guy here looking for you.”

For a moment, in his half-asleep stupor, Whizzer imagined a prince charming. A beautiful man, coming to finally rescue him from his poor, single, gay high school boy life and take him away. But as he was getting up and getting dressed, it hit him. 

It was only stupid Marvin Blumenfeld, probably coming to look for him just so he could argue and push him in the lake again. 

Great. 

There was, however, something charming about stupid Marvin Blumenfeld. Something _stupidly_ charming about that smirk he got on his face right when he was about to shove Whizzer off the dock. Something-

“Whizzer! Hurry up!”

“I’m coming, goddamn!”

Whizzer missed the days when he and Lydia almost always got along, too. Of course, there were always small fights. They were siblings, they were supposed to fight. But Lydia had became sort of popular and, dare he say, stuck up. It didn’t suit her. She’d never been that way. He knew that she just got drawn in with the wrong crowd, so he tried not to let it get to him too much. 

As expected, it was, indeed, Marvin. 

“Why do you wake up so early?” Whizzer questioned him. 

“It’s noon. Past noon, actually,” Marvin answered wittily. 

“It’s summer. You’re supposed to sleep in.”

“Do you just sleep your life away in the summer?”

Whizzer shrugged. “Not a morning person.”

“I can tell.” Marvin rolled his eyes. “I’m taking my dad’s boat. If we’re actually going to do this whole ‘friendship’ thing, you’re coming too.”

“Why? So you can push me out where it’s too deep to swim?” Whizzer asked again, though he followed Marvin to the dock without any hesitation. 

Marvin shrugged, not giving a real reply. 

Whizzer wouldn’t be surprised if today was the day he drowned.


	3. adventure.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alternative title:  
> whizzer says he likes adventure so marvin tries to take him on one but whizzer actually thinks it’s stupid

“Do you know how to fish?”

“Gross,” Whizzer said instantly. “Are you fishing? Is that what we’re doing? If we’re fishing, I’m going to jump off of this boat and swim my way home and never talk to you again.”

Marvin laughed. “You can’t swim. You already told me that. And we don’t have life jackets.”

_“Are you fishing?”_

“No.”

“Thank _god.”_

“What’s wrong with fishing?”

“I feel bad for the fish. And the worms are fucking nasty.” 

“Fish aren’t actually harmed when you’re fishing, if you do it right.”

“Oh, are you some kind of fishing expert?”

“Yeah, totally.” Marvin was smirking. “I’m great at baiting, too. A master baiter, if I do say so myself.”

Whizzer couldn’t stop himself from laughing at Marvin’s horrible joke. “Oh my god. You’re nasty.”

Marvin only shrugged. 

It turned out that Marvin was great at horrible fishing jokes and puns. He was making dad jokes before he even planned to be a father. 

They ended up staying out in the boat for a good portion of the day, just talking as they sat in the middle of the lake. It was nice out there, even if Whizzer spent a good portion of the time being afraid that the stupid thing would tip over or that Marvin really would push him over the side, or something. 

“You only ever come out here for the summer?” Marvin asked him. 

“Yeah,” Whizzer answered, swatting a mosquito away from his arm. “I wish I could stay out here though. I like my grandparents more.”

“What are your parents like?”

“Boring. And busy. Someone like me needs constant adventure, and I can’t really get that back at home.”

Marvin seemed to think for a moment, before nodding and grabbing the paddles again. 

“What are you doing?” Whizzer asked. 

“You’ll see. Just hush.” 

So Whizzer hushed, although rather reluctantly, and just let Marvin do his thing. He was rowing them to the opposite side of the houses - which, as far as Whizzer knew, was just woods. What was there to _see_ there? Bigfoot? Marvin seemed like the type of person to believe in Bigfoot. Was Marvin taking Whizzer to see Bigfoot? 

Marvin stopped at the edge of the grassy part. “Here, c’mon,” he said as he got out of the boat, holding a hand out to Whizzer to help him as well. 

Whizzer reluctantly followed along. “What are we doing?” He tried again. 

This time, Marvin told him to shut up. Whizzer rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but did as told. They walked for a while, neither one of them speaking even though Whizzer had the strong desire to talk. 

It wasn’t until Whizzer realized that there was literally nothing else around them other than trees that he finally gave into his desire. “Will you please explain what we’re doing?”

“What does it _look_ like we’re doing?”

“Getting lost in the middle of a forest.”

“There you go. That’s what we’re doing.”

Whizzer groaned. “Marvin. This is dumb. If this is your idea of fun, take me back home. I’d rather play Scrabble with my grandmother.” 

“You play Scrabble with your grandmother?”

“Because Lydia’s too busy texting her boyfriend and my grandfather doesn’t understand how to play it no matter how many times we explain.” 

Marvin chose to pretend that Whizzer said nothing about taking him back home, about this whole thing being dumb. “What are Lydia and her boyfriend like?”

“She’s distant. Used to be fun, now she’s kind of a jerk. Her boyfriend’s a dumbass. I hate him. I hate most of the boys at our school. Which sucks, considering I like boys,” Whizzer stated casually, earning an odd glance from Marvin. “What? You couldn’t tell that I was gay?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Marvin mumbled. “I’m homeschooled. I don’t talk to many people my age. Still don’t, even with you around, really.”

Whizzer rolled his eyes. “I’m not that much younger than you.”

“Three years.”

“Would you rather talk to Lydia?”

Marvin actually laughed. “No. But thanks for the offer.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. You aren’t her boyfriend or her best friend, Paige C., so she wouldn’t talk to you anyway.”

“There’s another Paige?”

Whizzer grinned. “Three, to be exact. Paige C. is the best Paige, apparently. She hates Paige A., and Paige F. is okay.”

“Ah.” 

They ended up sitting underneath a large oak tree, to shield them self from the summer sun. It was a hot day, one of the highest temperatures of the week thus far. Neither one of them particularly minded it - it was just that the shade felt good and they wanted to enjoy it for a little while. 

“Do you seriously not talk to anyone your age?”

Marvin gave a shrug. “Why bother? It doesn’t matter to me either way. I have my parents, I talk to them. I don’t need friends. I like being alone.”

“So you don’t need me, then.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

“I didn’t _mean_ it, Whizzer.”

“So you like having me around?”

“I didn’t say that, either.”

Whizzer was grinning. “What _will_ you say?”

Marvin seemed to have to think about that. “Summers will be a lot more interesting with you around. That’s what I’ll say.”

And Whizzer would take that. Whether Marvin meant that in a good or bad way, he didn’t know, but he would take that. Because he felt the same way about having Marvin around. It was certainly something different, certainly something that he wasn’t used to. 

He was used to liking boys but not liking any of the ones he knew. He was used to spending summer nights alone at the end of the dock, watching fireflies flash as they passed his side, as they passed overhead. He was used to listening to Lydia talk to her boyfriend over the phone from outside the bedroom door as he headed up to the attic, and wishing that he had his own boyfriend to call to talk to about how nice the lake house was - or whatever she was saying. 

And now, here he was. Still liking boys, but finally finding one that he didn’t mind being around. Still spending summer nights watching fireflies, but watching them while play-arguing with that boy that he didn’t mind. Still having to listen to Lydia gossip and gush to her boyfriend, but not worrying about it because he knew that he’d have a day _full_ of talking when he woke up the next morning. 

It was things to get used to. But Whizzer had never been one to be afraid of change.


	4. i’ll be back next summer.

Their ‘friendship’ stayed like that for the most of the summer. Constant arguing, sometimes _actually_ getting mad at each other, spending time in Mr. Blumenfeld’s boat or in the woodsy area (which wasn’t as dumb as Whizzer actually had originally thought). Whizzer made Marvin sit with him on his grandparents’ dock sometimes, too, and watch the fireflies. 

This time, as they sat with their feet dangling into the lake, their shoes sitting abandoned somewhere in the yard, it was quiet. They usually talked when sitting like this - about anything. About things they hated, about the differences between home and public schooling, about how Marvin saw Whizzer as a little kid because of their age difference and how their age difference _really_ wasn’t that big of a thing. About stupid things, about funny things, about irritating things. About anything. 

Marvin spoke up after nearly an hour of silence. “When do you leave?”

The question took Whizzer off guard. “Uh… Next week.”

Marvin sighed. 

“Why?”

He felt Marvin shrug from beside him. “Just curious. It’s quiet here without anyone else around.”

Whizzer grinned. “My grandparents are always here.”

Marvin shoved him - but not hard enough to actually knock him into the water, thank god. “You know what I mean, asshole.”

“Watch your language. I’m a minor, remember?”

“You were just telling me to treat you like our ages didn’t matter.” But he was laughing. 

And Whizzer was, too. “I changed my mind, just to make that joke. Now we’re pretending that we’re the same age again.”

“Whatever, kiddo.”

Whizzer elbowed Marvin, eliciting a laugh from the older of the two. “Don’t call me that!”

They laughed and joked for a little while longer, before it fell silent again. 

Whizzer was the one to break the silence, this time. “What do you even do during the rest of the year? When it’s not summertime?”

“Schoolwork,” Marvin shrugged. “Look into colleges. Read. Fish.”

“Boring.” Whizzer commented. 

“Yeah, honestly.” 

“I wish I lived out here.”

Marvin didn’t reply. Whizzer didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t bother to question it. 

It could mean that Marvin wished so, too, and just didn’t want to say it. It could mean that Marvin wished he would just leave and never come back. It could just mean that Marvin didn’t know what to say - maybe Whizzer was reading too far into it. 

Both of them embraced the silence that followed Whizzer’s words, though, this time. Despite the late hour, the night was still hot, staying true to summertime. It was almost the end of summertime, though, to where the heat of summer was transitioning to the sticky and humid weather of autumn. 

Whizzer had come to hate autumn, just because it came with him having to leave the lake house for the city again. Having to deal with stupid city people and popular people in their sickeningly sweet but definitely not going to last straight high school relationships. Having to deal with fake people and be fake right back to them. He wished that his own family would do the whole homeschooling thing, so that he could stay here. And he hated winter, too, because it was too cold and he didn’t have anyone to cuddle with and share hot chocolate with and make fun of cliche holiday movies with. Winter was lonely. 

He liked spring, though. Because it meant that he was one season away from getting to come back. One season away from school ending, one season away from the long but comforting drive to his grandparents’ house. One season away from being able to stay up late watching fireflies, and playing board games with Ada and Edmund, and being able to sleep in and not worry about any schoolwork. And, as of this summer, being a season away from getting to argue with Marvin again. 

“I’ll be back next summer, though.” Whizzer decided to add on. “And the summer after that. Even if Lydia decides to stop coming, because she’s too old for this or whatever her excuse is. I’ll be back next summer, and every summer after it.”

“That’s a lot of summers,” Marvin commented, sarcastically. 

He ruined Whizzer’s little moment. Whizzer hadn’t known what he’d expected in a reply, but it certainly wasn’t something as snarky and insensitive as the response he got. He could have came up with an equally witty comment of his own. Instead-

“Asshole,” Whizzer grumbled, finally shoving Marvin off the side of the dock for the last time of the summer between his freshman and sophomore year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little short, and i’m sorry. but it concludes the first part of this story – the next chapter will begin part two, which starts at the beginning of the next years’ summer. whizzer will be sixteen and marvin nineteen. :)


	5. “the summer”

Lydia wouldn’t even come, this time. She didn’t want to go. She told Whizzer that he would understand when he was her age, that it just wasn’t fun to spend time in a secluded lake house with old people and little to no connection to internet. Sure, okay. That was Whizzer’s favorite parts of going. 

He loved that it was secluded. The people that he _did_ see there - his grandparents and Marvin - were all that he actually _wanted_ to see. They were people that he got along with (for the most part) and that he enjoyed being around. He didn’t want or need to spend time with anyone else. 

And the whole “old people” thing wasn’t fair, considering that the whole point of the trip was to go visit their grandparents that they only got a chance to see once or twice a year. Of _course_ they were old. Plus, they weren’t even that old for grandparents - they were near the end of their sixties. Whizzer didn’t know the exact number, but he did know that they were fun and happy and cheerful and overall _wonderful_ people, and that he was going to spend every summer with them that he possibly could. 

Lastly, the internet connection. That annoyed Whizzer, that Lydia couldn’t last a little under four months without a solid internet connection, when they were busy having conversations and cooking and playing board games and being outside, anyway. 

Those were Whizzer’s thoughts on the issue, and he was brooding over them the whole time it took for his father to drive him to Ada and Edmund’s house. 

But once he got there, the brooding was forgotten. He greeted his grandparents with his usual bright smile and sarcastic but loving flair, took his bags up to his room - he could use the actual bedroom since Lydia wasn’t here to kick him out - and then spent the rest of the night with his grandparents. 

The first night was always spend solely on doing things with Ada and Edmund. Anything else could wait. He could actually unpack tomorrow. He could fix up hater Lydia did to the room tomorrow. He could go bother Marvin tomorrow. 

He helped Ada make dinner that night, then he played monopoly with the two of them while they just talked and caught up. They asked him questions - about school, about Lydia and their parents - and he happily answered with plenty of detail. 

They sat around the fire in the backyard for a little while, but Ada and Edmund went to bed early that night, around ten-ish. So Whizzer sat at the end of the dock, alone, watching fireflies and other summer bugs. He’d slipped his shoes off before sitting down, and let his feet dip into the water. 

The water was sort of chilly, but it felt nice compared to the warmth of the night. Summer nights were nice, even if he was spending them alone. He glanced over, to the Blumenfeld’s house. The lights were still on, there. Whizzer imagined Marvin sitting with his parents. He wondered if their family made dinner together and played games and sat together around a campfire. 

Marvin didn’t seem like that type of person. He seemed too impatient for board games. Or, perhaps, too insistent that he’d win, to the point that nobody would even want to play with him anyway. He seemed way more like the lone wolf type - the type of person who would hide out in his bedroom with books or TV and be just as happy with an antisocial life. 

Which was possibly why he and Marvin butted heads so much, but still managed to get along. Because they were just so _different._ Whizzer loved board games, and didn’t really care whether he won or not (though it was nice when he did win). Whizzer loved being around people, being outside, doing fun and interactive things. If they could actually start getting along better, their opposite personalities could, rather than clash like they’d been doing a lot before, come together and help each other. 

Marvin’s introverted, lone wolf personality could help make Whizzer a little less high maintenance. Could help him realize that he didn’t _always_ need attention, and that sometimes it’s good to do things on his own, alone. 

Whizzer’s extroverted, social butterfly personality could help break Marvin out of his shell. Could get him to spend more time with people, outdoors, year round rather than just in the summer when he didn’t have schoolwork that could allow him to always be couped up in his bedroom. 

Sitting out on that dock, Whizzer made a promise to himself to try harder to get to know Marvin, and to be able to relate to him better. 

This would be it. This would be the summer that Whizzer found himself - who he _really_ was going to become - and found a true best friend that would stick to his side no matter what. And, a friend that he could stick to, as well, while _he_ found who he really was, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now the slow part is over with!
> 
> the chapter begins part two, where all of the good and interesting stuff comes in, where we’ll get the actual storyline and so on.


	6. being gay is lonely.

Whizzer joined Marvin at his dock at noon the day after his arrival. Well, ‘joined’ was a loose term. More like, he left his shoes in his grandparents’ yard, tiptoed across the wooden platform, and startled Marvin by cheerfully whispering “hi” in his ear. But that was minutes ago, and now the two of them were sitting side by side like they’d done multiple times the year before. 

“How long have you been back?” Marvin questioned him. 

“A day,” Whizzer shrugged. “I just got here yesterday. I missed this place so much.”

“Do you really hate being at home that much?”

“It’s not that I hate being _home._ It’s just that I hate the people I go to school with, and the fact that it’s in a pretty small but busy part of the city means that I have to see at least one person from school wherever I go.”

Marvin scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Okay.”

“Being gay is lonely.”

Marvin gave him a look. Of confusion, mostly, but Whizzer would be lying if he didn’t think there was something else in there too. 

Whizzer explained himself. “At least, in my area. People only want to be my friend so that they can say that they befriended the only gay kid in their school. Or, at least, the only _out_ gay kid at their school. And I guess I’m doomed to be single forever. At least until graduation and college, but that’s such a long time away.”

“Only two years.” Marvin stated. “Trust me, it goes so much faster than it sounds.”

Whizzer shrugged. 

“How did you come out to your school?”

“I ran down the hallways in a rainbow cape yelling that I was gay.”

Marvin stared. 

Whizzer grinned. “Kidding. Though I wish I did it that way. I just kind of slowly weeded it into things. I didn’t want to hide it, obviously, because that’s stupid. I’m proud of being gay. Like, teachers would ask for one cool fact about us on the first days, when they were getting to know us, and I would always say that I was gay. People thought it was a joke at first, but now I am The Gay Kid.” 

This time, Marvin just shook his head at him. “You’re something else.” 

“That’s what I’m going for.”

Upon Whizzer’s suggestion (and nagging), they decided to walk into town. It was a pretty long walk, but neither one of them minded. It was hot out, but the frequent breeze kept them cool. Nobody else was really out - probably because the lake houses were further off from the rest of the town. 

“You know what’s fun to do?” Whizzer said suddenly, as they finally got into a more populated area of the town. 

“What’s that?” Marvin asked. Whizzer noticed the slight bit of sarcasm in his voice, like he didn’t think it would be all that fun. 

Whizzer hit Marvin’s shoulder in response to the sarcasm (and Marvin’s grin showed that he understood the gesture) before giving his answer, “Making up stories about people you see.”

Marvin raised an eyebrow. “You do that?”

“Yeah. You don’t?”

“No. I don’t understand-“

“Shh. See that woman there?” Whizzer nodded in the direction of a woman trying to get three children into a car, in the parking lot of a small grocery store. 

Marvin nodded, slowly, still giving Whizzer that odd look. 

But Whizzer was grinning. “She’s irritated because they’re not her kids - she’s babysitting. For her ex-husband’s girlfriend’s sister.”

“... Why would she babysit for an ex-husband?”

“Not _him,_ Marvin, for his girlfriend’s sister.”

Marvin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Why would she do that?”

Whizzer shrugged, making his answers up on the fly. “Needs the money. That divorce was expensive. Your turn! Pick a person, and tell their story.” 

Marvin sighed, glancing around the area. Eventually, he just seemed to give up, “That guy there is tired.”

Whizzer rolled his eyes. “Which guy? And why?”

“Whizzer, this is dumb. These are real people-”

“Yeah, and? It’s not like they know we’re doing this. And even if they did, we aren’t hurting anyone.”

Marvin only gave a glare in response. 

With a roll of his eyes, Whizzer decided to hit do it for him. “Alright, fine. That guy there, sitting on the bench. He’s tired. Because he’s in love with a man, but his wife and kid are preventing him from getting any closer. Also, his psychiatrist isn’t really helping him, either. Poor guy.”

“That’s… oddly specific.”

Whizzer shrugged. 

They ended up giving up on this idea, because Marvin wasn’t trying, and it was boring coming up with cool ideas and then having them dismissed by Marvin. And Marvin was being a spoilsport about just being out in town - complaining that it was hotter here or something - so they ended up just going back to the lake house. 

“Was that enough adventure for you?” Marvin asked, as they made their way back

Whizzer was tempted to say no. That he'd wanted to have actually accomplished something while they were out. That it was pointless if they weren’t actually getting anything fun out of it - and that listening to Marvin complain about everything wasn’t fun, thank you very much. But, instead, he just stayed silent. He’d see how well Marvin would respond to the silent treatment. 

He probably didn’t get that often. Because he apparently had no friends, no desire to make them, and lived with his parents. Whizzer had never heard him talk about any other family members. Whizzer doubted that Marvin would be very familiar with the silent treatment. And Whizzer would be the one to change that, because he was _very_ good at giving it. 

“Hello?” Marvin continued, after only a few seconds of Whizzer’s silence. Probably because Whizzer was good at quickly coming up with his witty replies. 

But he didn’t give in. He stayed silent, pretending that Marvin wasn’t even walking beside him. 

“Asshole. I know you can hear me.”

Silence. Though Whizzer _was_ tempted to playfully tell Marvin to watch his language. 

This bit of silence lasted longer than the rest. Like Marvin had finally understood. He didn’t speak until they actually got to the houses. “Are you actually mad at me?”

That question took Whizzer off guard, almost enough to make him respond. But he caught himself. Instead, he gave Marvin a sideways glance, before looking straight ahead again. 

“Whizzer,” he tried again. “Are you-“

“No.”

Marvin audibly sighed in relief, which made Whizzer laugh. 

“You thought I was mad?” 

“You wouldn’t talk. You’re _always_ talking. I figured you were either sad or mad, and I couldn’t understand why you would be sad, so.” Marvin shrugged, with a huff. 

Whizzer was grinning. “Were you _worried_ that you made me mad?”

And now Marvin was getting defensive. “Only because I didn’t want to have to deal with you hating me for, like, four months.”

“Because you _like_ hanging out with me! It’s not just because you’re lonely!”

Marvin shoved Whizzer into the lake.


	7. fishing

“Tell me the positives of public schooling.” Marvin had said one afternoon. “You always talk about how much it sucks. Tell me some good things.”

Whizzer had to think about that for awhile. “I mean, it depends on what you consider positives. I don’t like public schooling. I wish I was, at least, in a private school. It’s more prestigious, sure, but there’s less people.”

“You seem like a people person.” Marvin pointed out. 

“I am,” Whizzer said. “But only around people I enjoy being around. I don’t like half of the school. The other half I just don’t know.”

“Why don’t you try to get to know some of them?”

“Because I’ll probably hate them, too. I’d rather just not know them.” 

That made Marvin laugh. 

Marvin had ended up managing to convince Whizzer to go fishing with him. Well, Whizzer sat and kept conversation going while Marvin fished. It wasn’t as horrible as Whizzer had thought it would be - probably because Marvin hadn’t managed to actually catch a fish just yet. 

Whizzer sat there in the boat, just watching Marvin. Marvin had shushed him twice now, saying that all of the noise scared the fish. 

He doubted it, but okay. 

He was starting to wish that he had brought something out with him - like a book, or something to doodle in, or cards that he could do magic tricks with. Hell, even his phone, though he did prefer to leave that indoors during the summer. 

“Stop looking like a kicked puppy,” Marvin grumbled. 

“I _don’t_ look like a kicked puppy,” Whizzer said, with a pout. 

Marvin gave him a look. 

Then there was a tug on the line. Whizzer felt the boat rock and almost cried. 

“Marvin, don’t you _dare_ reel that fish in-“

But he was doing just that. 

“Marvin, I swear to god-“

But now there was also a gigantic _fish_ in the boat with them. Marvin was grinning, like nothing better had ever happened to him before. 

“Ew!” Whizzer shrieked, almost managing to fall off the side of the boat when the fish flopped just a little too close to him for comfort. “Throw it _out,_ asshole!”

And now Marvin was _laughing_ at him. Whizzer watched with both fear and disgust as Marvin pulled the hook out of the fish’s mouth and threw it back overboard - but not before waggling the fish in Whizzer’s face and making him scream again. 

“Fuck you,” Whizzer whined, once the whole thing was over with. “Take me back, I’m never doing this again.”

“Oh, come on.” Marvin was still laughing. 

“Yeah, this must be _really funny_ to you.” Whizzer crossed his arms. “Take me back.”

“It was just a fish. It couldn’t hurt you.”

“Uh, yeah, actually, some fish have teeth. You’d pull one of those guys up here and he’d eat you, me, _and_ the boat. Nobody would ever know what had happened.”

Marvin just stared at him now. 

Okay, clearly, Whizzer had made himself sound stupid. He huffed, crossing his arms and staring out at the water. “Whatever, shut up, I hate you.”

Marvin was laughing again, but he did start moving them back to the docks. Thank god. 

“Some fish _do_ have teeth,” Marvin agreed, after a moment. “But most of them live in the bottom of the ocean. You’d have to go scuba diving to get bitten by one of them.”

“It’s a rational fear, okay? Lots of people are afraid of fish.”

“These fish aren’t planning your murder, you know that, right?”

Whizzer huffed. 

They spent the rest of the night sitting at the end of the dock in front of Marvin’s house. His parents came out at one point, to tell Marvin that they were going somewhere for the night and would be back tomorrow morning. They also introduced themselves to Whizzer - they got along with his grandparents very well. They were nice people. Marvin seemed to have a good relationship with them. 

“Let’s sleep outside tonight,” Whizzer suggested, as the night got later. 

“Why? We’ll get eaten alive by mosquitos.”

“What's the point of summer if you don’t get a few bug bites?”

Marvin was rolling his eyes. “You don’t mind bugs that _actually_ bite you, but you’re afraid of fish.” 

“Shut up about the fish. I hate fish, they’re terrifying and evil - and not to mention they’re freaking disgusting and slimy - and if you bring them up one more time we aren’t friends anymore.”

He dropped the fish thing. “Alright,” he agreed, instead. “I guess we can sleep outside.”

Whizzer smiled at him. “Have you ever camped outside?”

“Not in my own yard. That’s hardly camping.”

And now it was Whizzer’s turn to roll his eyes. “Fine, we’ll camp in my grandparents’ yard. They won’t care. Lydia and I did it _all_ the time, when we were younger.”

“Why would you camp in your own yard? That’s stupid.”

Whizzer hit Marvin’s shoulder, not hard enough to hurt him. “You like _fishing._ That’s what's stupid.”

Marvin assumed that he was never going to hear the end of this whole fishing thing. He thought that it had been fun. And hilarious. He’s never seen anyone freak out that much over a fish. 

“Okay, okay,” he sighed. “We’ll camp in your grandparents’ yard.”

It was less of camping and more of having Edmund come out and help them get the fire going, staying up late and talking by the fire, and watching Whizzer try to catch fireflies without getting up. (He was surprisingly good at that - he caught at least seven while sitting in the exact same place.) 

But still, it was fun. Even though the fact that Whizzer called this ‘camping’ was stupid, the action of actually being there and doing it was fun. 

Neither one of them actually slept. Luckily for himself, Marvin didn’t get all that tired too easily, so pulling an all-nighter wasn’t that big of a deal. 

Whizzer, on the other hand, was a handful.


	8. sleepy whizzer and his conspiracy theories about fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. there’s some trump bashing at the end of this so if you aren’t here for that my apologies
> 
> 2\. this was written when i myself was half asleep and i’m not proof reading it so sorry again but i think it’ll be fine

Whizzer was a mess when he was tired. Like, more of a mess than he usually was. 

They’d been laying in silence for nearly a half hour. Marvin couldn’t get to sleep, but he assumed that Whizzer had finally passed out. But then-

“Are you _sure_ that fish aren’t trying to plot our deaths?”

“What?”

“Like… It would be the perfect plan. People keep them in their houses as pets. People catch them. People go swimming in the same places as them. People go to aquariums, where they’re literally surrounded by fish. What if, one of these days, they’re all just planning to kill us so that the aliens can finally come down from space and rebuild the world into something actually worth living in.”

Marvin found himself stunned into silence. What the hell? He didn’t get time to question it, though, because-

“It’s too easy. I know not all fish have teeth but… What if they’re adapting? The bitey fish are mating with the normal fish and making more bitey fish. Soon all of the fish will be able to bite, and that’s when the plan will be initiated.”

“Whizzer, what the everloving fuck are you talking about.”

“The invasion and inevitable ending of the world, Marvin, shut up.”

Marvin fell silent again. 

Whizzer sighed, like Marvin’s interjection had been way more of an irritation than it should have been, before he carried on. “Anyway. The initiation. When all the fish are bitey ones. They fucking… pop out of their tanks. Or the ocean, or wherever they are, I don’t know where every single fish is. They come out - not as gay, but that’d be cooler - and they bite everyone’s head off. And heads are rolling down hills and down streets and all over the place and people are screaming but not for too long before their head is bit off, too. They’ve won. The bitey fish.”

Then Whizzer was silent. Was Marvin supposed to respond? He’d just gotten scolded for saying anything. “Ah,” Marvin settled on. 

“You’re supposed to ask me about the aliens.”

“Yeah, okay.” Marvin could play along. “What about the aliens, Whizzer?” 

Whizzer laughed and clapped his hands together. “Yes! The aliens! I’m glad you asked.” Like he had a choice to. “They _made_ the fish. Forget God, or Hashem, or… or Buddha, or… whoever. It was the fucking alien fish all along. The aliens and the fish made the world, then realized all the human stuff was garbage because Donald Trump accidentally got made,” - that made Marvin laugh - “so they’re taking over again to destroy it and try again.” 

“So,” Marvin said, still snickering, “the world is going to end because of Donald Trump?”

“Yeah.” Whizzer shrugged. “I mean, it’s bound to. If not the bitey fish and the aliens then Dump Truck will probably figure something out.”

That sent Marvin into another fit of laughter. 

He wondered if Whizzer could actually comprehend what he was saying. If he understood how weird he sounded. If he would even remember any of this stuff after waking up, whenever he finally went to sleep. Maybe Marvin should start recording this. 

But he decided not to. Because, first, Whizzer would kill him. And, second, because he knew it was more fun here in the moment. He wouldn’t be forgetting about the night any time soon. 

“So, if Trump didn’t get presidency, the aliens wouldn’t end the world?” Marvin asked. 

Whizzer pondered that for a moment. “Nah. We were going to hell anyway. They’d just wait a little longer.”

Whizzer rambled on and on about this for awhile. About how he knew all of this was true, and how he would tell Marvin that he knew he was right, before the fish bit off their heads. And then Whizzer turned around and called himself an “alien whisperer” and said that he and Marvin would be the only two people in the world to survive the event. 

“Why us?” Marvin asked. 

“Because,” Whizzer said, smiling at him. “Because we’re the last good ones left. The last good people in our generations. In _all_ of the generations. And because, I mean, it’s not like I’m going to fall in love with anyone else at this point.”

Marvin didn’t know what to make of that last part. 

On one hand, Whizzer was beyond exhausted. He had to have no clue what he was talking about. He’d just been talking nonstop, without worrying about what came out. None of it mattered. 

Then, on the other hand, Whizzer had been pretty bold throughout this whole story. Speaking his thoughts and feelings without care. Maybe he _did_ comprehend what he was saying, and maybe he _was_ trying to tell Marvin that he loved him. 

Maybe it was just wishful thinking on Marvin’s part. 

The two of them ended up falling asleep shortly after Whizzer said that. Well, Whizzer did. Marvin found himself still unable to sleep, Whizzer’s words flowing around his head over and over. _“It’s not like I’m going to fall in love with anyone else.”_


	9. bittersweet

When Whizzer finally woke up, he was in his bed in his grandparents house. The sleeping bags were rolled up and put away in a corner of the room. He didn’t remember doing that. He slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. 

He didn’t remember anything that happened last night. Was this what it felt like to be drunk? Whizzer was a Good Jewish-Christian Boy and had never drank yet (aside from the one time he and Lydia stole a beer, took one drink, and refused to ever drink again), so he wouldn’t know. 

It was already past noon. 

Whizzer was half tempted to just go back to sleep. He was still tired enough to be able to sleep for the rest of the day. 

But, instead, he forced himself up out of bed and got dressed, and went outside after greeting his grandparents. Marvin was already out there. 

“Took you long enough,” Marvin greeted, before Whizzer had even managed to sit down next to him. 

Whizzer hummed in response, elbowing Marvin’s side before sitting down. He hadn’t bothered with shoes before coming out, so he let his feet dip into the water. It was a nice contrast to the sticky hot summer afternoon. 

“Careful,” Marvin said, with this odd smirk on his face. “The fish might execute their plan.”

“What?” Whizzer questioned, staring at him.

He looked like he was about to laugh. “Their plan to end the world?”

Marvin sounded so stupid that Whizzer honestly had no idea how to respond to that. He just furrowed his eyebrows, trying to figure out -

And now Marvin was laughing. Hard. Whizzer didn’t get it. 

_“What?”_

He was laughing so much that he couldn’t even answer Whizzer. It made Whizzer roll his eyes. 

The rest of the evening was spent with Marvin continuing to make random jokes about fish and aliens and taking over the world and biting off people’s heads and about the two of them being the only survivors. Whizzer was beyond confused, but it was kind of fun to watch Marvin say these stupid things and then burst into laughter. 

Despite his complete and utter confusion, Whizzer ended up laughing too. And then neither one of them could stop laughing. Like the whole thing became an inside joke that Whizzer didn’t even understand anyway. 

But it was funny. And he liked laughing. And he liked Marvin. 

God, the summer was going quick. It seemed like just yesterday he and Marvin did nothing but bicker and fight and argue and shove each other into the lake. 

And now here they were. Nearing the end of summer, getting along, and laughing at stupid things that made no sense. 

 

***

Days went by so much faster now that Whizzer was paying attention to how much longer he had left. Before he knew it, it was the day that he left. 

Whizzer didn’t think that leaving would be this hard. It _shouldn’t_ be this hard. But his and Marvin’s friendship had become such a big thing... He was going to miss it. God, he was going to miss it so much. 

It was already two o’clock, and Whizzer hadn’t seen Marvin at all today. He sat alone at the end of the dock, staring down at the water. It felt oddly lonely. He was so used to having Marvin at his side, nagging him about something or making fun of him or saying something stupid. He felt stupid starting to actually get sad about this, but he couldn’t help it. 

He was going to miss this. He was going to miss the summer, the lake house, the fireflies. He was going to miss Marvin. Stupid Marvin Blumenfeld, who he was totally falling for and he couldn’t stop himself. 

He was about to get up to go inside, to try and stop these _stupid_ feelings, before something red was suddenly dropped into Whizzer’s vision, landing atop his head. 

“Here you go.”

Whizzer pulled it off, turning to see Marvin standing behind him, with his hands in his pockets. “What?”

Marvin rolled his eyes. “It’s a sweatshirt. For winter.”

Whizzer stared. 

“You talked about hating all the guys at your school. None of them are going to give you their sweatshirt when it gets cold.”

And then Whizzer snickered, looking back down at Marvin’s red sweatshirt. “Great.” He nodded, still giggling. “Thanks.”

Marvin shrugged, but he was grinning now, too. He sat beside Whizzer. 

“Where have you been all day?” Whizzer questioned him, placing the sweater behind them. “Avoiding your best, and only, friend because you don’t want to say goodbye?”

Then Marvin was quiet. Whizzer watched him think. 

“Guess you could say that,” Marvin finally announced. “I’m not saying goodbye.”

“What do you mean?”

“That sounds too... I don’t know. It sounds like it’s really the end. Like you won’t be back.”

That made Whizzer smile. He bumped his shoulder against Marvin’s. “You want me to come back.”

“Who else am I supposed to scare with fish the whole summer?” Marvin teased, shoulder-bumping him back. But there seemed to be something else behind his voice and grin. 

Whizzer decided against questioning it. 

“Uh-huh. That’s all I am to you. Someone to terrorize with fish,” he shook his head. “Whatever. I’ll be back, you know that. I hate being everywhere else.”

It got quiet again. 

They sat there in understanding silence for the rest of the evening. Neither one of them wanted to part, but neither one of them really wanted to come straight out and say it. 

Whizzer’s parents showed up around six. Marvin, as he promised, didn’t say goodbye. Neither did Whizzer. 

“See you next year,” Whizzer settled for instead, after he’d gotten everything packed into the back of his dad’s van. 

“Yeah,” Marvin agreed. “Good luck with your junior year.”

That made Whizzer grin. “Mhm. Have fun with no-friends homeschooling.”

“You bet,” Marvin was grinning too. 

Whizzer wanted nothing more than to pull Marvin into a hug before getting into the car. But he didn’t. For one, because his dad honked the horn. But mostly because he didn’t want to make things weird or raise flags with his parents. 

“Less than 365 days,” Whizzer settles for saying, winking at Marvin, before hopping into the car. 

He managed to wait until he got all the way home and into his bedroom until he cried about having to watching Marvin pass from the car window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooooooo  
> we gettin ready for a bit of  
> mmmmmmmmmAngstTrainmmmmmmm  
> donthateme it ends happy


	10. “you look different”

Junior year was horrible. It felt like it would never end. All of his “friends” suddenly had better things to do. Apparently being best friends with the gay kid wasn’t cool anymore. 

Which led to isolation. 

Which led to bullying. Because who _didn’t_ like to pick on the outcast? 

Which led to Whizzer spending more and more of his time locked up in his room, hidden under blankets and Marvin’s hoodie that still somehow smelled of him - kind of spicy, very outdoorsy - and not talking to anyone. He regretted not getting Marvin’s phone number. Even just being able to text Marvin would make Whizzer feel better. 

He wore Marvin’s hoodie 24/7. Everyday. Everywhere he went. At night, he slept cuddling it. 

Maybe that was a little weird. Whizzer didn’t care. Marvin didn’t have to know. 

He longed for summer all year. He longed for being able to play fight with Marvin and argue with Marvin and laugh with Marvin. It didn’t seem like the time would ever come. But then it did. 

Marvin was there, at the end of the dock in front of his own house, when Whizzer finally arrived for the summer. Whizzer didn’t think he’d ever been more happy to see someone. 

“You look different.” Those were Marvin’s first words to Whizzer. 

Whizzer raised his eyebrows. “Different?”

Marvin shrugged. “I don’t know. Tired. Sad?”

“I’m not sad,” Whizzer half-fibbed. He’d spent all the time from last summer to now being sad. But here, in this moment, he wasn’t sad. At least, he didn’t think so. “Possibly tired. It’s a long drive.”

“I’m glad you’re back,” he stated, lightly punching Whizzer’s shoulder. Whizzer grinned. “How was junior year?”

Whizzer groaned. “Let’s not go there.” He’d probably start crying if he had to talk about the whole year. “How bored were you without me?”

Marvin seemed to notice Whizzer’s quick topic change. He didn’t say anything about it, though. Not yet. “Very. Isn’t college supposed to be fun?”

“Probably if you’re going to a real school,” Whizzer smirked. Marvin elbowed him. 

God, he missed this. He missed this so much. 

“Was my sweater satisfactory?” Marvin asked. “Better than anything the asshole guys at your school could give you, surely, right?”

“Yeah,” Whizzer chuckled, trying to swallow the lump in his throat when thinking of those ‘asshole guys’ at his school. The things they said and did to him. “Way better than anything they could have given me.” 

And then Marvin seemed to have had enough. “What happened to you?”

“What?” 

“Something’s up.”

“No-“

“Talk to me.”

It was silent. 

Marvin was the first one to break it, his voice softer this time. “What happened?”

If Whizzer said it wasn’t hard holding back his tears now, he was telling a lie. “Nothing, Marvin. Just drop it.”

“Drop what?”

Whizzer turned to meet Marvin’s gaze. And that was a mistake. 

The tears fell. Slow, and he didn’t even realize them at first. “Nothing.”

Marvin reached a hand out to wipe away one of Whizzer’s tears. “Something happened. And, obviously, holding it in isn’t doing you any good.” 

Whizzer pushed Marvin’s hand away. “Just- stop talking. Nothing happened. I’m fine. Just tired. It was… it was just a long year.”

“Fine,” Marvin finally said, turning to look out at the water in front of them. “You don’t have to tell me now. But you _will_ talk to me about this at some point. I’m not just going to let whatever it is eat you alive while you pretend to be fine for the whole summer.” 

Whizzer hated that Marvin knew exactly what he’d been planning on attempting to do. 

“Just talk to me,” Whizzer said, suddenly changing the topic. “Tell me what you did while I was gone. Talk to me about college or your family or something.”

Marvin seemed hesitant, probably about dropping the topic so quickly, but he complied. 

He told Whizzer almost everything. About college, how he’d gotten accepted to one of the colleges he really wanted to be in and about the classes that he was taking. Which classes he liked, which ones he didn’t. How he was so glad that he could just do it all online. He told Whizzer about his family - about how they’d taken a little vacation type of thing in October to go see his aunt, who was pregnant again. About how his cousins started a band that was horrific and how he had to sit and listen to them scream while playing the same three electric guitar chords for three hours (this story had Whizzer laughing). He told him how they’d stayed with his aunt and uncle until after Hanukkah, and how the connection was so bad up there that staying on top of his schoolwork wasn’t easy. 

It hurt Whizzer to see how open Marvin could be with him, when he couldn’t even find the strength to just tell Marvin that he was being bullied at school. 

“Oh, I finally came out when I was up there. During Thanksgiving, because most of the family was there anyway,” Marvin said. 

Whizzer’s eyebrows rose. “You came out?”

He nodded. “As gay. I guess I’ve known for awhile now, just never told anyone.”

“Oh.” Whizzer nodded. “How did it go?”

“Surprisingly, it went well.” Marvin nodded. “My cousins, the ones in the stupid band, made a bunch of gay jokes afterward, but I shot back at them with jokes about their band, and they shut up. And my aunt took their guitars away for a week, too, so there was that.”

That made Whizzer chuckle. 

Marvin glanced back over at Whizzer. “Maybe I’ll take you up there with me sometime. Make _you_ listen to their band.”

“Can’t. You go during the school year.”

“You’re almost an adult, Whizzer. You’re almost eighteen. You can make your own decisions, then. If you want to move out, and move out here with your grandparents and do online schooling like I do, then you can.”

He was right. Whizzer turned eighteen near the middle of the next school year. He could drop out of public schooling and finish the year online. Ada and Edmund had already said that he was welcome to move in with them - they had certainly talked about his future many times. 

“Maybe I’ll do that,” Whizzer mumbled. 

Marvin watched him. 

Moving out here could get him away from the assholes in school, too. He could put up with them for the first half of the year. Then he’d turn eighteen, and he could move out here, and spend everyday with Marvin. 

“What are you thinking?” Marvin questioned. 

Whizzer shook his head. “Nothing. Just that I’m definitely doing that.”

Marvin still thought that Whizzer looked sad.


	11. pictures of you

Marvin seemed to have, overall, dropped the topic of Whizzer being sad. Though he seemed to not have forgotten it, because his glances at Whizzer were longer, more questioning, whenever there was silence between them. Silence between them used to be comfortable, normal. Now it was filled with heavy air and unspoken words, unasked questions. It was weird. 

Everything felt weird. 

“Do you want your sweater back?” Whizzer asked, to break the quiet. 

Marvin shook his head. “You can keep it. I’m pretty sure it looks better on you than it does on me.”

Whizzer smiled at that. “Probably.”

Marvin snickered and rolled his eyes. 

It got silent again. After awhile, Whizzer got tired of it. Tired of the odd, awkward silence. So, he stood up, and he held out a hand to Marvin. “Can we take your dad’s boat again? I want to go explore that area.” He pointed to across the lake.

Marvin raised an eyebrow, but took Whizzer’s hand and stood up as well. “You said it was boring last time we went.”

“Yeah, last time. A year ago. I’ve changed. Can we?”

“Okay, fine.”

Whizzer grinned at him. “Awesome! You go get the boat, and I’ll be right back.”

Marvin looked a bit confused, but Whizzer had already ran off. He went back inside, going upstairs, and grabbing his camera. He took a photography class his junior year, and he was planning to take another one his senior year. He loved photography, and the lake house would be a great place for landscapes.

“I didn’t know you did photography,” Marvin commented, once they got to the other side.

“It’s a new thing,” Whizzer answered, with a shrug.

“Are you good?”

“My teacher said so,” He said, turning the camera on and passing it to Marvin. “You can look through my stuff if you want.”

As Marvin looked through Whizzer’s pictures, Whizzer found himself thinking about it. He wondered if Marvin would understand some of the deeper meanings that he’d attempted to convey through the pictures. His teachers never seemed to understand it. Whizzer never wanted to explain it to them, either, or to talk about it to them, so he really didn’t care. He wondered how much Marvin actually knew about photography anyway. 

“You are really good,” Marvin complimented, handing the camera back. “Some of your pictures seem so sad, though.” _Like you,_ he wanted to add on, but he saved it. 

“Bad days, I guess,” Whizzer shrugged, looping the camera around his neck and motioning Marvin along the trail.

He often took pictures when life felt too rough. He took pictures of things that reminded him of how he felt. Solitary. Sad. Those usually ended up being his best photographs - the ones his teachers complimented him on the most. The ones he spent the most time on, both in trying to get the perfect shot and also in editing before turning them in.

Marvin seemed to have understood.

“Can I take pictures of you?” Whizzer asked.

“Me?” Marvin questioned. When Whizzer nodded, he gave a small shrug. “I mean, I guess so. I don’t know why you’d want pictures of _me_ when there’s all of this beautiful nature around us, but-”

Whizzer shushed him. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. _I_ am the only beholder that matters.”

Marvin rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. 

Whizzer took loads of pictures. Of Marvin, of scenery, of some birds and animals they found in trees or scurrying around the ground. And some more of Marvin. It was quiet, but it wasn’t weird this time. Maybe because Whizzer was just so focused that he was in his own little world, and he wasn’t really paying much attention to anything other than his photography.

They went back once it was too dark for Whizzer to get any good shots, and then they sat out in the grass and looked through the pictures that Whizzer took. Marvin told Whizzer to delete most of the ones with him in it, but Whizzer refused. 

Then, they put the camera aside and just laid in the grass, side by side, on their backs. Looking up at the stars. Watching fireflies fly by overhead. That was when Marvin tried again.

“Talk to me.” 

Whizzer was quiet.

“Please?”

“School sucks,” Whizzer finally announced. “Everyone’s fake. Everyone’s an asshole. Everyone uses people to get up to higher rankings, and then they leave them in the dust.” 

“I guess you ended up being one of those people, then, huh?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “It sucks. School sucks. Everything sucks.”

“Everything?”

“Everything except for the summer.”

“Everything else, then?”

“Except for you.”

And then they were quiet again. They laid there for at least a half hour, in complete silence. Then Whizzer repeated himself in a softer, sadder voice. 

“Everything except for you.”

The tone in his voice, the emotion behind it, made Marvin’s heart sink.


	12. lydia

“Lydia’s coming tonight,” Ada said, at breakfast.

Whizzer looked up from his pancakes. “What?”

“She called last night,” Edmund threw in. Both of them were smiling. “She said she was planning to leave her phone behind. Said that she missed us, missed you, missed the summers spent out here in your guys’ childhood.”

“Will you come with me to get marshmallows and hot dogs for tonight? She should arrive around dinnertime, so I thought we could celebrate her arrival after several years by doing what we used to,” Ada proposed. “I was going to have Eddie stay here, and clean house.”

Whizzer thought about hanging out with Marvin. Marvin and Lydia had never met. Marvin knew of Lydia, but she didn’t know of him. “You know,” Whizzer said, making his own proposal, “what if I just go get the marshmallows and hot dogs? I can drive. That way, you won’t have to worry about grandpa messing things up when cleaning.”

Both of his grandparents laughed. They all had this long joke about how Edmund always made the house worse whenever he tried to clean. 

“Sure,” Ada agreed, though. “Just be careful.”

“I will!” Whizzer nodded, hopping up and slipping on his shoes. 

He went outside, getting Marvin from his house, and dragging him out to his grandparents’ car. 

“Where are we going?” Marvin questioned, suspicious. 

“Store,” Whizzer said. “Lydia’s coming tonight.”

Marvin raised his eyebrows. 

“Yeah. I don’t know,” Whizzer shook his head, before starting the car and driving. 

Whizzer cranked up the radio, playing whatever was on - which happened to be classic rock, that Edmund loved. 

After a little while of driving, Marvin had reached over and turned the music down. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Whizzer shrugged. “I just… haven’t really talked to her. We haven’t talked in forever. She left for college last year.”

“Are you worried?” 

“... Yeah.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Whiz,” Marvin said. 

Whizzer shrugged. 

“And if it isn’t, I’m here. Just come hang out with me.” 

They shared a smile, and then went inside to get the items that Whizzer’s grandparents requested. The store trip was rather uneventful. They got the stuff and got back to the car. And once they got back, Lydia’s car was in the driveway. 

“I’ll leave you to your family,” Marvin said, with a grin. He patted Whizzer’s shoulder. “Have fun.”

Oh, sure. Lots of fun. 

 

***

 

It actually didn’t turn out to be too bad. Lydia was talking to their grandparents when Whizzer came in with the bags. Then, Lydia pulled Whizzer aside - took him upstairs, to the bedroom. 

“Hey,” she said. 

“Hey.” 

“How’ve you been?”

Whizzer shrugged. “How’s college?”

“Interesting. I’ve learned a few things.”

They both laughed a bit. God, this was awkward. Lydia stood up, moving from her bed to go sit next to Whizzer on his own. 

“Hey,” she said again. “I’m really sorry about being such an asshole. For not being around, and for pushing you around whenever I _was.”_

“It’s okay-“

“It’s really not. Some of my friends that were a year under me told me about school. About the way people are treating you.”

He shrugged. 

“That’s not okay, either.” She said. “I’ll walk right into your school next year and kick them, if I have to.”

That made Whizzer chuckle. “Don’t worry about it. I’m thinking of moving out here once I turn eighteen, anyway.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. 

She smiled at him. “That’s awesome. It’s great out here. I’ve really missed it… I can’t believe that I gave up so much of my childhood to stay at home instead of being here.” 

Whizzer nodded. “I can’t believe it, either.”

“I’m not surprised that you kept coming out here.” Lydia said. “I’m sure grandpa and grandma appreciate it.”

“Yeah.” He said, with a shrug. “I spend most of the day outside, but they always say that just knowing I’m here makes them happy.”

“Outside? Alone?”

Oh, yeah. He had to tell her about Marvin. “Uh, no- There’s neighbors. They have a kid a year older than you. Marvin. He’s pretty cool.”

Then Lydia was grinning. “Pretty cool, huh?”

Whizzer stared. 

“Do you _like_ Marvin?”

“Possibly,” he admitted. 

“Are you dating?”

“No.”

“Can I set you two up?”

“I mean… It probably won’t work. And if you’re going to just embarrass me, then no - I can do that easily enough on my own.”

That made Lydia laugh. She hopped up, offering Whizzer a hand. “Come on. Let’s go make dinner. And we can invite _Marvin_ to come eat with us.” 

Oh, god. This was a mistake.


	13. talk

Lydia decided to take it upon herself to go get Marvin. Whizzer tried to follow along, but Lydia sent him to help Edmund start the fire while Ada got all the food together. When Marvin and Lydia were coming back, they were already deep in conversation. Whizzer sort of already regretted telling her about him. Or, at least, that he liked him. But, whatever.

Their conversation ceased, however, once they got to the yard. 

Surprisingly enough, the evening went well. They ate, and talked. A lot of the conversation was centered around school - mostly Lydia’s school. Because Whizzer wasn’t about to tell his grandparents that he was getting bullied. And because Marvin did everything online (his two cents on his schooling was that it was “boring” and “that’s all there is to it”).

Edmund and Ada went inside around ten, leaving Whizzer, Lydia, and Marvin outside. 

Whizzer laid on his back, running his bare feet through the grass, listening to Lydia and Marvin talk. They got along really well. They already seemed to be friends, and were talking and joking about something - Whizzer wasn’t paying enough attention to know the subject. If Marvin hadn’t told him that he was gay, he would be kind of afraid that his best friend (read: crush) and his sister might end up dating. 

He must have been spacing out, just a little, because Marvin suddenly clapped in his face. Lydia was grinning. 

“Yeah?” Whizzer questioned, pushing Marvin’s hands away from his face. 

“Oh, good,” Lydia said, “you weren’t paying attention while I told Marvin a bunch of embarrassing stories about you.”

Whizzer sat up. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she actually did. “What?”

“Kidding.”

Whizzer stared. 

“We’re talking about school,” Marvin stated. 

He groaned and flopped himself back down into the grass. “Boring.”

“Whiz, come on,” Lydia frowned. “You haven’t said _anything_ about school yet. Nothing at all.”

Whizzer shrugged. 

“How about this. Tell us one story, good or bad. Only one. A kind of lengthy one, but only one.” Lydia said, like it was some kind of compromise. 

He had to think. If college Lydia was anything like little Lydia had been, she was _very_ persistent. So, Whizzer wouldn’t have much of a choice. He would have to tell her, because she would continue to ask and beg and nag until he did. He’d just save her the time. 

He had to think, though, about what story to tell. He had plenty, almost all of them being bad, but many of them would probably end up making him cry. The good ones were short and to the point, and Lydia wouldn’t accept it. 

“Uh… I got lead on.” Whizzer finally said. It grabbed both Marvin and Lydia’s attention immediately. “A guy faked coming out, and he pretended to get close to me until I’d kind of fallen for him, and then he asked me to one of the dances and when I said yes, he humiliated me in front of the whole school.”

Marvin looked angry. Actually angry. Whizzer just tried to avoid his gaze - he didn’t know what. 

“What did he do to you?” Lydia questioned. 

He hated this. He hated that the topic had become so serious. He hated that both of them were looking at him expectantly, and he hated that he couldn’t get himself to look at either of them. 

He gave a small shrug. “The whole school was in on it the entire time. They knew he wasn’t gay. He had a _girlfriend._ Everyone knew. He called me out, at the dance. Called me names. Everyone was laughing. A group of guys beat me up in the parking lot when I tried to leave.”

Whizzer hadn’t noticed the tears that fell until Lydia wiped them away and pulled him into a hug. 

He hated crying. He hated showing that side of him. He was already gay, did he really have to be _weak,_ too? At least, that’s what he thought. 

But Lydia was calling him strong. She was saying that he was strong, and brave. 

Whizzer didn’t want to hear it. He pushed her away and stood up, going inside. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to _cry_ over it. Especially not in front of his sister, who he hadn’t seen in years, and his best friend. 

He shut himself up in his bedroom. Part of him was glad that neither Marvin nor Lydia followed him inside. The other part of him was kind of freaked out by it. What were they talking about, now? Him, probably. Him and his school. Him and how he had managed to have what he thought was a good two weeks with a guy who was a little bit cute, who he thought actually liked him, and how this guy turned around and ended all of it with a quick derogatory joke about gay people. 

Whizzer fell asleep late that night. Not late enough that Lydia had come back in, though. He didn’t even hear the door open downstairs. He knew that she just still hadn’t come back inside. 

And it scared him. For some reason, it scared him. 

It scared him that she wasn’t here. That she could be outside, talking to Marvin - Marvin, whom he loved and whom he couldn’t stop loving no matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he got made fun of loving another man - about _anything_ right now, and he wouldn’t even know. 

It scared the shit out of him, and he didn’t sleep well that night at all.


	14. swimming in lakes and holding hands

When Whizzer woke up, Lydia was laying asleep in her own bed. Part of him wanted to just lay there and pretend to be asleep until she woke up, like he did when they were much younger. Instead, though, he got up and grabbed an outfit for the day, then went to go get dressed. 

He hoped there wouldn’t be any talk of what happened the previous night. Of Whizzer’s school story. Obviously, he knew, they would remember it. He knew that, even though he just wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, it happened. He just hoped… they could forget about it. It could stay in yesterday, and not make a return. 

Lydia was awake when Whizzer came back. She was sitting up in bed, her hair back in a braid, messy from sleeping. She looked up from the book she was holding as Whizzer stepped back in. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Whizzer said back, flopping down on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. “What are you reading?”

“Just something for school.” Lydia answered, setting the book aside. “It’s boring as hell. My girlfriend liked it, though.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m bisexual. Hooray.”

That made Whizzer chuckle a bit. “So much has changed.”

Then, Lydia was laughing. “Yeah, for real. I’ll tell you now, though, guys in high school are horrible. Guys in college are somehow worse.”

Whizzer only groaned in response. 

“That’s why is good that you have Marvin,” Lydia said. 

It got quiet for a moment, Whizzer thinking and hesitating, before he finally spoke the question that’s been on his mind since he fell asleep. “What did you and Marvin talk about last night? After I left?”

“You,” She answered. She was standing up, now, and she took her hair down, pulling a brush out of her backpack. “Marvin was pissed. At those guys. At your whole school, honestly, I think. We’re trying to find a way to be able to keep you from having to go back. I’m going to talk to Mom and Dad, before the summer’s over. I was actually planning to move out here, somewhere, anyway. We’ll just say you’re living there with me.”

Whizzer was quiet. 

She let the quiet go for a little while, as she finished brushing her hair and started looking through her bag for an outfit. Then, “I can tell that he likes you a lot, Whiz. Just the way he got so _mad_ when you were talking last night. And when you left, he was worried about you. He asked if we should go make sure you were okay. He told me that you’ve seemed sad and upset and just different the whole time you’ve been back. He’s worried.”

“I guess I should tell him that I’m okay.”

“Are you, though?”

“... Yeah. I mean, I’m scared as hell to go back to school. I don’t want to go back. I’d rather drop out and just never graduate than go back. But I’m okay. For now, I’m okay.”

Lydia nodded her head. “I’ll make it so you don’t have to go back. I’ll bribe Mom and Dad if that’s what I have to do. We’ll get you in online schooling.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” she smiled at him. “Now let me go get dressed, and we can go do something fun. With _Marvin.”_

“I really wish you’d stop saying his name like that.”

“I really wish you’d stop denying yourself and ask him out already.”

Yeah. If only it were that easy. 

 

***

 

They had ended up sitting around outside, talking. Lydia had insisted on swimming in the lake. Whizzer refused, so he and Marvin just sat at the edge of the dock and watched her. 

Whizzer did, however, dip his feet into the water. It was nice and cool. 

“She might pull you in,” Marvin commented, ever so helpfully. 

“Don’t give her ideas,” He responded, grinning. “And, if she does, I’m grabbing you and pulling you in, too.” 

That made Marvin grin. 

Whizzer couldn’t stop thinking about what Lydia said earlier. Marvin liked him. That she was sure of it. But what if she was wrong? What if Marvin was just a good friend? 

He was brought back to reality by Lydia tugging on his foot - not hard enough to drag him in, but enough to freak him out and make him grab onto Marvin’s hand on instinct. 

She was laughing as she swam away. That was definitely on purpose. 

“I hate her,” Whizzer whined. “You’re lucky you don’t have any siblings.”

Marvin laughed. “You know that I would have done the same thing if I were her.”

“Yeah. You terrorize me, too. Asshole.”

He snickered. 

And then Whizzer realized that he still hadn’t let go of Marvin’s hand. And Marvin hadn’t tried to pull away, at least not yet. He should probably let go… but he didn’t want to. So he didn’t. 

He just pretended not to acknowledge this. Marvin didn’t say or do anything either. 

So they sat there, holding hands, watching Lydia swim. At one point, though, Marvin _did_ do something - he interlaced their fingers. The whole _holding hands_ thing suddenly felt so much more official, and Whizzer kind of struggled not to smile like a dummy. 

 

***

They parted with no tears that night, and all at the same time. The second that Whizzer and Lydia got inside, in their bedroom, he grabbed her arms. “We held hands!”

“I know!” Lydia cheered, “I saw! One step closer. Now ask him out.”

She winked at him, then, and left to go take a shower to wash away all of the lake water and filth (because “the fish piss and shit in there,” as warned by Whizzer multiple times). 

Whizzer just changed into pajamas in the bedroom, before flopping on his bed. He still had Marvin’s hoodie with him, the one he’d been haven last summer. He held it close to himself, unable to stop his smile this time. 

God, he felt like a middle school girl in love. And, for some reason, he didn’t hate it.


	15. and again there were two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mmm yikes some more angst
> 
> this was supposed to be a happy chapter where they finally confessed their feelings but i felt sad today so i’ll save that for another day [kinda want to hold it off for awhile longer anyway]
> 
> small tw for a mention of sexual bullying near the end

The next morning, Lydia insisted that Whizzer go hang out with Marvin alone. “I have to read this book,” she had said, as an excuse but he was pretty sure she just wanted him to go so that their relationship would grow. 

He was fine with that.

“She was reading something for school,” Whizzer said, reiterating his sister’s line, when Marvin asked where she was. “She said she hated it, but it had to be done.”

Marvin nodded. “College readings are boring as hell. Just so you know.”

Whizzer shrugged. “I don’t know. I like reading.”

“What about math?”

“Hate it. It’s useless.”

“Makes sense.” He nodded. “I hate reading, but love math. It’s like a pattern.”

“Don’t talk about patterns, that’s too mathematical for me. It’s the _summer,_ don’t make me think about _school.”_

Marvin rolled his eyes, chuckling at him. “The learning portion of school really isn’t that bad.”

He shrugged. “No, I guess not. Some teachers are just so _boring_ though.”

“Yeah. I hear that. Online lectures are the worst.”

“So are real life lectures.It’s easier for them to tell if you aren’t listening. You could, like, be playing a video game on mute while listening to an online lecture and nobody would know.”

Marvin laughed. “This is a secret between you and me, but I have most definitely done that before.”

That made Whizzer laugh, too. 

They talked for awhile, about anything and everything. And then the topic somehow came back to Whizzer and his school situation. 

Sitting side by side at the end of the dock, both of them with their feet in the water, looking straight ahead. Their hands were close enough for one of them to inch a finger over and they’d be touching, but neither of them did so. 

“That wasn’t the only time you got beat up, was it?” Marvin asked. 

Whizzer took a deep breath. “No. It wasn’t.”

“Did you talk to anyone about it?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a minority, Marvin. I’m the only gay kid in my school that’s stupid enough to admit it. Nobody’s going to do anything to put a stop to it. Nobody cares enough.”

“Talk to me,” he said. “I want to know what else has happened. How many times.”

“Why?”

“Please.”

Whizzer’s gaze dropped down to his lap, instead. Marvin was looking at him, now, but Whizzer couldn’t get himself to match the stare. “There’s been rumors,” he finally said. “They say that my photography teacher only likes me because I sucked him off in the bathroom. I didn’t. I never did that.”

Marvin didn’t say anything. 

Whizzer didn’t want to say anything else. But he kept talking. “People write things on my locker. Slip notes through it. Derogatory slurs. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to scrub the F-slur off of my locker. And- they _say_ it, too. With no shame. They don’t even think about it. They just… say it. And other things. So many things.”

Marvin was looking out at the water, now. Still silent. 

“They were good at beating me up, too,” Whizzer said, with a small, humorless chuckle. “They knew how to bruise me in only the places that could be hidden. So that they wouldn’t get caught. So that nobody else would know. Not that it mattered, because half of the school stood around and watched and cheered them on, anyway.”

“You aren’t going back to that school,” Marvin suddenly said. _“I’ll_ talk to your parents, if they say no.” 

It got quiet. Whizzer didn’t want to say anything else. 

Marvin’s hand moved closer to Whizzer’s. He took Whizzer’s hand in his own, interlacing their fingers like he did last night. But, this time, he gave a small, reassuring squeeze. “Everything will be alright,” Marvin said. 

Whizzer finally looked over at him. Whizzer looked tired and sad again. Marvin was determined to make sure he’d never look this tired, this sad, ever again. 

Marvin lightly rubbed his thumb against Whizzer’s hand. “You’ll stay here and do online schooling, where there won’t be any insensitive assholes that can hurt you. Then we can go crash your school’s prom at the end of the year. Ruin it with some gay shit.”

Whizzer chuckled lightly. “We’d get jumped if we did that.”

“No, we wouldn’t.”

“Well, _I_ would.”

“No. You wouldn’t.”

Whizzer looked at him. 

“We’ll ruin it for the heteros, and then we’ll continue on with our lives here.” 

Marvin turned more towards him, reaching out and grabbing Whizzer’s other hand, interlacing those fingers as well. They sat there like that for awhile. Marvin watching Whizzer’s face, Whizzer staring down at their hands. Whizzer didn’t know what to make of this. Romantic? Platonic? He didn’t know. What he _did_ know, though, was that he appreciated everything Marvin was doing. He appreciated that Marvin listened to him, that he cared enough to do something about it, that he was clearly trying to cheer Whizzer up and make him feel better. 

“You never told me how many times,” Marvin said. He was still rubbing small circles into Whizzer’s palms with his thumbs. 

“That’s because there’s too many to count.” Whizzer said, watching Marvin trace the circles. “If we’re talking that really bad ones, there’s been five. But overall, there’s been so many. So many.”

He was frowning. “Did they do anything worse than beat you up?”

“They tried. I got away.” 

Marvin shook his head. “You’re not going back.”

“I don’t want to go back.”

“You won’t. Lydia and I will find a way. We’ll find a way.”

They were silent for the rest of their time spent together, aside from ‘good night’s when they’d finally decided to part. They watched the sunset together, Whizzer’s head lying against Marvin’s shoulder. Marvin was tracing comforting shapes along Whizzer’s back. 

Lydia was already asleep when Whizzer went inside, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He didn’t know what Marvin was to him. A friend, at least. A good friend. Was there really more to that? Was what Lydia told him really true? Why hadn’t he and Marvin talked about that situation? 

Whizzer fell asleep with Marvin on his mind, and with his hoodie in his arms once again.


	16. scary

_They held hands. Laughing, having fun. Laughing at nothing, even, giddy at even just the idea of spending time together. Happy, stupid, young, dumb. They didn’t care. They had each other. That’s all they needed._

_They were getting ready for prom. They were prepared to get bad remarks. They were prepared for stares. They were prepared to get yelled at. They were prepared for the other person to be the only one there to comfort them when a remark was too much, when it cut too deep. They were prepared. They were ready._

_Even Marvin was dressed nicely. He’d let Whizzer pick it for him, of course. He cleaned up very well when he was trying to be impressive. And impressive was an understatement compared to how Whizzer thought he looked._

_“I love you,” Whizzer hummed, pulling Marvin in close by the collar of his suit._

_“Love you too,” Marvin repeated, with that same old stupid half-smirk._

_They shared a kiss that definitely wasn’t their first one, Marvin’s hands trailing through Whizzer’s hair. Whizzer felt butterflies in his stomach, even at the ever-so familiar gesture._

_And then they were at prom. They’d snuck in unannounced, because who would care about the arrival of the sole gay student and said student’s boyfriend? Only the bullies, so that they could spot the two of them faster and mess with them faster._

_Not that it took them very long, anyway._

_They could have ran. They could have fled, and maybe they could have gotten away in time. But they didn’t. They stood there. Stood there as they were both attacked, with kicks and punches, and slapped with words. Words stung. Quite possibly not as bad as the current physical treatment they were getting, but those injuries could heal._

_The scars left behind by such harsh words weren’t as easy to take care of._

_Whizzer was grabbed by the hair, shoved to his knees on the ground. They held him there like that and laughed at him. Made jokes at him. Kicked him and hit him. All Whizzer cared about in this moment was Marvin._

_Where was Marvin? What were they doing to Marvin?_

_Whizzer looked over just in time to see them holding a knife to Marvin’s throat, to see them move it closer, closer and then—_

Whizzer flew to a sitting position, feeling both hot and cold at the same time, sweaty, _terrified._ He was alone. Lydia wasn’t in her bed. A glance to his alarm clock told him that it was nine in the morning. She was probably downstairs, eating breakfast with their grandparents. 

He couldn’t coax himself out of bed for what felt like a long time. In fact, he only did get up because Lydia had come up for him. 

“Whiz, breakfast’s going to get cold,” She said, poking her head in the room. And then we eyebrows rose when she saw him just sitting there. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he lied, with a small nod. “Just give me a minute. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Lydia didn’t look too convinced, but she nodded her head and left Whizzer to his lonesome once again. 

Sometimes Whizzer wished that he never met Marvin. Not because he didn’t like him - that was far from the case, _god,_ Whizzer _loved_ the guy. It was just the weird things that he was doing to Whizzer, without even knowing about it. Whizzer has never had a dream like that one in his life. Never has he ever had a dream where someone he loved and cared about so much was going to be hurt. It scared him. It _terrified_ him. 

He loved Marvin so much that it was scary, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

Whizzer got up, forcing himself out of bed, and got dressed, then joined his family downstairs. He really wasn’t hungry, but he ate so nobody would say anything. When he and Lydia went outside, to meet with Marvin, Whizzer found himself sighing in relief when seeing that Marvin did not, in fact, have a gigantic gouge in his neck from the guys at school. Even though he knew it was only a dream. Even though he knew that it would never happen.

Lydia decided that they should take a walk up to town. They hadn’t done anything other than swim in the lake and hang out in the yard, she said, they needed some variety. So, they did. They ended up at the small playground, which was filled with little kids laughing and running and playing. Lydia ended up with the duty of pushing three different little girls on the swingset.

“She’d make a good mom,” Marvin pointed out, as he and Whizzer sat at a park bench in the shade. 

“Oh, god,” Whizzer murmured. “Adulthood. Marriage. Commitment. Scary.”

Marvin snickered. “You’re afraid of commitment?”

“I don’t know. Not really. I guess it’s just the idea of settling down and not having as much freedom as before kind of freaks me out a little.”

“Losing freedom kind of comes with being an adult,” he said. “Believe it or not. You lose some freedoms, and you gain new ones. I’d imagine that commitment is similar.”

Whizzer grinned at him. “Not that you would know.”

Marvin scoffed. “Yeah. Not that I would know.”

“Still,” Whizzer said, shaking his head. “Imagining my sister with children. That’s weird. Kind of freaky.”

“Not that I would know,” Marvin repeated. 

Whizzer rolled his eyes at him. “Do you ever wish that you had siblings?”

“Not really. I mean, I see my cousins during the fall, when you’re gone. They’re annoying enough to count as siblings. Just long distance siblings.”

He laughed. “What a concept. Long distance siblings.”

Marvin nodded, with a grin. “You’ll meet them someday, and then you’ll see why I’m so glad that they’re a few states away.”

Whizzer thought about that. About meeting Marvin’s family. Marvin’s _extended_ family, who didn’t even live here. The fact that Marvin actually _wanted_ Whizzer to meet them. That was kind of scary, too. And he didn’t know why.

“Because of their band?” Whizzer asked, instead of mentioning anything that he’d thought. Instead of telling Marvin how fucking in love he was and how much it scared him.

Marvin laughed. “That’s one reason. Their band is pretty horrible.”

“I’m pretty sure you just don’t know what good music is, Marvin,” he teased. 

“Oh yeah?”

Whizzer shrugged, grinning.

“Okay.” Marvin nodded. “How about this. I’ll make you a playlist tonight of songs I like. Then you can tell me whether my music taste is good or not.”

“Alright,” Whizzer nodded. He felt kind of giddy at the idea of Marvin making him a playlist. Even if it wasn’t necessarily for _him_ in the way he was thinking of. “As long as you don’t listen to country music. My dad listens to way too much of that.”

“My uncle does. I don’t,” Marvin said. 

“Awesome.”

Lydia came back shortly at the end of this conversation. “The kids I was playing with had to go home,” she announced, looking almost sad. She pointed at Whizzer. “I wish you were still six.”

“Ugh,” Whizzer responded. 

They hung out at the park for a bit longer, before walking back. It had gotten a little cooler when they got back, the day slowly growing into nighttime, and Whizzer ended up going inside to get the red hoodie that Marvin had given him last summer. Lydia grinned when she saw him wearing it, like she knew. She probably did. Whizzer would never own a jacket like that unless it wasn’t his own. 

The three of them laid back in the grass and stared up at the stars. Lydia lied about being tired around eleven, and went inside. 

Leaving Whizzer and Marvin, just the two of them, once again.

“You know how you said that we could crash my school’s prom?” Whizzer said, suddenly.

“Yeah. Why?” Marvin asked.

“We shouldn’t. It would be fun, sure, but they’d find a way to get back at us.” He was thinking about his nightmare. About what the guys did in it. Even though he knew it wasn’t real, even though he knew it couldn’t happen.

Marvin only nodded. “You don’t really need to be back at that school, anyway. They’ve clearly messed you up.”

“They haven’t messed me up.”

He didn’t bother to say anything to that.

Whizzer wasn’t thinking when he said this next part. “If anything, _you’ve_ messed me up.”

“Me? I- What?”

“Nothing. Never mind.” 

“Whizzer-”

“It’s a good thing. Just shush. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

“That’s a lot harder to do than it sounds.”

“The stars are pretty.”

Marvin chuckled and shook his head at Whizzer’s not-too-clever topic change. “Sure.”

Whizzer was smiling, now, too, though. “Well, they are.”

“Uh-huh,” Marvin said. He sat up, grabbing Whizzer’s hand and placing a quick kiss to it before standing up. “Good night, stupid.”

Whizzer could only watch in awe as Marvin walked away.


	17. shit talking?? yeah okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is that??? a lydia pov????

“Are you awake?” Whizzer’s whisper cut through the silence of the bedroom. 

“Yeah,” Lydia whispered back. “What’s up?”

“He kissed me.”

“What?” No longer whispering. She had flown to a sitting position. 

“Well, okay,” Whizzer said, slowly sitting up as well. “My hand. He kissed my hand.” 

Lydia had a large grin stretched out across her face, now. “Did you kiss him, too?”

“No.” When Lydia groaned, Whizzer put his hands up, “He walked away! I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“Kiss him tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Whizzer shrugged. “Now go to bed.”

Lydia was giggling as she laid back down. “You too, kiddo. Get your beauty sleep, so Marvin will fall even _more_ in love with you.”

 

***

 

When Lydia awoke to a silent, empty bedroom, she could only hope that Whizzer was outside, talking to Marvin. She was desperate to get them together, not for her own pleasure but for _theirs._

It was frustrating. God, it was so frustrating. Both of them were stubborn as hell, and neither of them seemed about to make a move on their own. She was honestly surprised that Marvin had even done something so small as to kiss Whizzer’s hand. _Boys._ They were so _stupid._

She got herself up and dressed, running a brush through her hair, before slipping downstairs. 

“You just missed your brother,” Edmund greeted, ruffling up her hair. She shouldn’t have even bothered to brush it, at this point. “He rushed out without eating. Said he had something important to do. Are you going outside, too?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head, using the hair tie on her wrist to just pull it up into a small ponytail. “I’ll stay for breakfast, though. I’m not in that much of a hurry.”

So she sat with Ada and Edmund and ate, thinking about Whizzer the whole time. She wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t actually kiss Marvin like he said he was going to. So stubborn. 

Lydia wondered if Whizzer and Marvin would have even gotten as close as they were now if she hadn’t come. Probably not. Maybe. She didn’t know. But, if things were going as slow as they were now - _with her help -_ then probably not. Definitely friends, yes. Probably pining, yeah. But actually making small moves? Kissing hands? Hand holding? Hell no. They wouldn’t have held hands if it weren’t for her pretending to almost pull Whizzer into the lake. Whether they knew that or not, Lydia was unsure, but she knew it for sure. 

When she slipped outside, she spotted the two boys in question sitting out at the end of the dock, lost in conversation. It looked, from where she was standing, like they were holding hands again. Or maybe not, maybe they were just _close_ to holding hands and neither one of them wanted to make the move to make the hand holding official. 

Lydia snuck up behind them, pushing her brother over so he nearly fell in Marvin’s lap. “Scoot over,” she said, hiding her grin, as an excuse to have pushed him, “you’re taking up the whole dock.”

Both Marvin and Whizzer seemed surprised by her gesture. Neither of them said anything about the closeness between them, but Lydia could tell by the subtle shade of red on both of their cheeks that they were completely aware of it. 

“How long have you been there?” Whizzer asked. He didn’t bother to scoot away from Marvin, either. 

This was kind of painful to watch, honestly. “Outside? Like, three minutes. Why? Were you doing something that I should have been here to see?”

“Just shit talking you,” Whizzer stated, with a shrug. 

She was sure that wasn’t what was going on. But she humored him. “Oh yeah? Why not just shit talk me to my face?”

“Because that’s boring. You’d actually know what we were saying.”

“Aren’t you glad that you don’t have siblings?” Lydia suddenly asked Marvin. He and Whizzer were still holding hands, she noted. 

Marvin shrugged. “Yeah, kinda. Though it would be fun to have someone to argue with 24/7.”

“That’s what stubborn boyfriends are for, too, you know.” Lydia said, without missing a beat. She motioned to Whizzer for good measure. 

The two of them shared a look, then looked back at Lydia. She grinned at them and hopped up, giving a small wave. “See ya. I’m going to go play Scrabble with grandma.”

She went inside, but instead of immediately going to play Scrabble, she looked out the kitchen window. She could see them pretty well from there. 

They were still sitting there. Closer than when she’d first left, she noticed. Talking, but she found that he couldn’t read their lips to understand anything. It looked like Whizzer was laughing, so something funny. And then Whizzer leaned in and-

 

***

 

Whizzer’s lips suddenly connected to Marvin’s, and Marvin found himself stunned for a moment before he instinctively kissed back. They stayed like that for what felt like forever, before Whizzer finally pulled back. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. 

So Marvin did it for him. 

“Will you do me the honor of being the person I can argue with 24/7?” Marvin asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Whizzer was snickering. “I feel like I’ve already been that.”

“Make it official?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. 

Marvin grinned and pulled Whizzer in for another kiss.


	18. lazy day

Whizzer and Marvin spent the rest of the day together. Lydia hadn’t come back out. They didn’t really do anything special, just sat and talked. There was quite a bit more kissing and hand holding than there normally would have been, but the level of flirting was the same. 

Well, okay, the level of flirting was the same, except that they were easier able to return it without fearing rejection.

“Are you going to tell your parents?” Whizzer asked curiously, as they laid together in the grass, looking up at the stars. “About us?”

“Probably. I mean, I think they already assumed, anyway.” Marvin shrugged.

That made Whizzer snicker. “I’m sure most people assumed, at this point.”

“Do you think your grandparents assumed?” Marvin questioned. 

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded. “I didn’t even have to come out to them. They just assumed that, too.”

“Well, I don’t know, you’re pretty obvious.”

Whizzer grinned. “I know. It’s intentional.”

They talked for a little while longer before eventually falling silent. Holding hands, lying closer together than usual. It was nice. Whizzer could easily just lay there forever. 

 

Marvin had started to say something to Whizzer, later on, before realizing that he’d fallen asleep there, laying with his head on Marvin’s chest. Marvin considered waking him up or moving him to his bed. He didn’t. Instead, he just pulled Whizzer in closer to him and let him sleep. While running his hands through Whizzer’s hair, Marvin ended up falling asleep, too. 

 

***

 

“Did we fall asleep out here?”

“Guess so.”

It was six in the morning, and they were only awake because the sun was so bright. Morning people or night people, neither one of them would purposely wake up this early in the morning. And, yet, there they were. 

Whizzer hummed, burying his face back into Marvin’s shoulder. “You’re warm,” he commented. 

Marvin chuckled at that. “So are you.”

They laid there for a moment, before Marvin spoke again. “Do you want to go to my house? A bed is probably more comfortable than the grass.”

“Will your parents mind?”

“They’re probably at work. But no, they won’t.”

Whizzer yawned and sat up, grabbing Marvin’s hand and pulling him up with him. Lazily and sleepily, they made their way to Marvin’s house. Marvin’s bed certainly was more comfortable than the grass. 

Neither one of them was able to fall back asleep, but they did lay there and cuddle for a few hours. Marvin toyed with Whizzer’s hair while Whizzer traced shapes along Marvin’s arm with his fingers. His parents were, indeed, at work, so it was just the two of them in the house. It was silent, except for their breathing and occasional shifting under the blankets. It was comfortable. Warm. 

Eventually, they decided to turn on the TV. The idea was to watch a show together, but they ended up turning on some random show and making fun of it. 

“Maury!” Whizzer cheered, as they were channel surfing.

“No.”

“Oh, come on. It’s a great show.”

“No.”

“Educational.”

“What’s educational about it?”

“We get to learn who is or isn’t the father.”

“Whizzer,” Marvin shook his head. “No.”

Whizzer just snatched the remote from Marvin, turned Maury back on, then tossed the remote across the room with a mischievous grin. Neither one of them was willing to get out of the warmth of each other’s embrace to go get the remote. It looked like they were stuck watching the Maury Povich Show. Which, after a while, proved to be okay because of how invested Whizzer got in it. It was cute.

“Oooh,” Whizzer murmured, sitting up from Marvin’s arms. “That’s the one. He’s the dad.”

“Are you sure?” Marvin asked.

He nodded, giving Marvin a look. “Uh, yeah. Obviously. Who else could be the dad?”

“One of the other two guys?”

“No. Definitely not.”

And Whizzer was right. He’d snuggled back into Marvin’s side after that little conversation, but was up again once the lie detector test results were revealed. “Yes!” He called, pumping his fists into the air. “I told you!”

Marvin chuckled, with a roll of his eyes. “Yeah.”

Whizzer cuddled back up to Marvin, grinning. “I love reality TV. It’s so bad.”

“This isn’t even real,” Marvin insisted, carding a hand through his lover’s hair. “That’s all fake. They’re all actors.”

“No, it’s not.”

“It’s scripted.”

“Shut up.”

Whizzer had known that already, obviously. Who didn’t? He just liked to pretend that it was real. Watching people with relationship issues like those and pretending that it was all real people and real issues made him feel better about himself. 

They eventually got up, after getting tired of watching Maury, and had ran into Marvin’s parents. Whizzer was actually kind of surprised how easily Marvin had told them that they were dating. And, his parents weren’t upset, so that was good. They were actually happy, saying that they were glad to have Whizzer in their family, like he and Marvin were getting married or something. His mother even gave Whizzer a hug. 

And then they went outside, where they crossed paths with Lydia again, who made very many gay sex jokes (even though Marvin and Whizzer both honestly stated that they didn’t have sex) just to embarrass them. Overall, though, she said that she was happy for them. 

“Finally,” she’d said, “it took you guys long enough, and I haven’t even been here.”

She also told them that if they were in a romcom, the audience would have given up multiple scenes ago because it seemed hopeless. Marvin rolled his eyes at that, but Whizzer thought it was kind of funny. 

At the end of the day, Whizzer ended up telling his grandparents, too. They weren’t surprised, as Whizzer had assumed. Edmund had said “finally,” too, and then he and Lydia proceeded to talk about how Whizzer and Marvin had been desperately pining over each other for way too long. 

But Whizzer didn’t even mind. He was just happy that everyone was so accepting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaa sorry for such a late chapter :(
> 
> also! i’m going to be gone from today to the 31st, i’m going to planet orlando (disney) with my school’s band. after that, i promise to get back to a better upload schedule – with this one and my other fics! 
> 
> also sorry this chapter is kind of lame, it’s to set up for what i have planned for next week’s chapter >:)


	19. beautiful goodbye

Summer ended way too fast. No matter how hard they all tried, they couldn’t convince Whizzer and Lydia’s parents to let him stay at the lake house. Marvin was mad. He was mad that he couldn't keep Whizzer safe from the stupid assholes in school. 

“It’s only half of the year,” Whizzer kept saying. “I turn eighteen before the year is over, and I’ll move back as soon as I do.” 

“But that’s still _half of the year_ that you have to deal with being hurt and insulted. _Half of the year_ that I can’t be there for you.”

“I’ll text you all day, everyday,” he promised. “Even in class. I’m a senior, teachers don’t care when seniors are on their phones.”

But Marvin didn’t say anything in response. 

They were sitting there, at the edge of the dock, like they always did. Whizzer could feel the anger, the upset, radiating off of Marvin. They were just. waiting. Waiting for Whizzer’s parents to show up and force him back home. Because he still wasn’t an adult, so he didn’t get to make his own decisions. 

“Marvin,” Whizzer said after a while, “please say something.” 

He didn’t. 

“Look at me.”

He wouldn’t look at Whizzer. He hadn’t looked at Whizzer all day. And he still wasn’t saying anything. 

“You’re mad,” Whizzer sighed. It was obvious. “I get it. I am too. You don’t want me to go. I don’t want to, either. There’s… nothing we can do about that, though. And I’ll be back. I always am. I-“

He was cut off by Marvin’s lips suddenly against his own. Whizzer quickly relaxed into Marvin’s touch. He could hardly remember when this whole thing had been new, had been kind of weird - it felt like years, but Whizzer knew it had only been a few weeks. 

“I love you,” Marvin said, as he pulled away slowly. His arms were still around Whizzer though, holding him close. 

Whizzer smiled sadly. “I love you too.”

“Can’t I just hide you in my closet until your parents go back home?”

“Ugh. I don’t want to be in one of those anymore.” He attempted to turn that one into a joke. 

It worked. Marvin rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. “Asshole. You know what I mean.”

“I don’t think my parents would fall for it, considering they know that I don’t want to go back.” 

Marvin grumbled, leaning in and kissing Whizzer again. 

They were interrupted shortly by the crunching of gravel from the front yard, the signal that it was time to go. Whizzer had never dreaded something more. 

Saying goodbye was the hardest part. In fact, neither one of them even wanted to say it. It was even harder than actually having to pull away from the kiss, than having to step out of the hug. They stood there, in front of the car, after Whizzer’s bags were loaded up. 

“I’ll be back,” Whizzer promised quietly. 

“I know.” 

Whizzer couldn’t tell what emotion was in Marvin’s tone. It was almost blank. It was heartbreaking. “I promise.”

“I know.”

“Whizzer!” His father called, from the car. “Come on, we have to go.”

Whizzer wanted to give Marvin a hug, to kiss him - but he’d already turned and walked away. He stood there, watching the back of his lover as he left. And then he turned around as well and got into the car. The second he got in, his phone beeped. 

**from: marv <3 **   
_I already miss you._

It made Whizzer smile, but it simultaneously broke his heart. Because he felt the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the title is because of the maroon 5 song lmao
> 
> okay. so.   
> i’m so sorry that i haven’t posted in like, ever? life’s been busy  
> but i’m gay and i’m back!
> 
> this chapter is short, lo siento. i’m getting back into long chapters and regular updates though, i promise!


	20. lonely

Marvin had kind of forgot what life was like without Whizzer there. No more witty comments, no more constant warmth at his side. Things were quiet. Lonely. He texted him everyday. They planned to video call, sometimes, but one of them always ended up in a situation where they couldn’t. 

Whizzer always said that he was fine, over text. He was fine, school was fine. Marvin didn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it until he could _hear_ Whizzer say it. _See_ him say it, without a falter in his davis expression, without a hesitation in his voice. Until then, Marvin didn’t believe that everything was as fine as Whizzer said it was. He believed that it was just Whizzer trying to cover up because he didn’t want to talk about anything that was going on. Whatever it was. 

His parents told him that he needed to get out more. They probably realized how much he missed Whizzer. Yeah, staying cooped up in his bedroom probably wasn’t the best thing for him. But being outside all the time reminded him of the summer, which wasn’t fun unless Whizzer was there. And then they ended up deciding to go to his aunt’s place earlier in the year. Usually they wouldn’t go until October, but Marvin’s dad was telling him to pack in mid-September. 

His aunt and uncle weren’t too bad. His cousins were obnoxious, but he’d just put on his headphones to drown them out. He and Whizzer kept sending each other playlists of music that reminded them of each other, so he had plenty of music to listen to, to help him drown out the out of tune guitars from the other room. 

But it still wasn’t enough to keep him from constantly thinking about Whizzer. Constantly thinking about how being next door to his cousins’ jam sessions would be so much more tolerable if Whizzer was there with him. About how everything would be more tolerable if Whizzer was there. Wondering how Whizzer was doing, how people at school were treating him. 

And then came the night that they were finally able to Skype. Marvin had managed to convince all of his family to leave the house (conveniently, there had been a movie they all wanted to see). 

Marvin couldn’t be happier when Whizzer’s face popped up on his laptop screen. 

He looked tired. He looked stressed. School was definitely taking a toll on him. It broke Marvin’s heart. 

“Hey, handsome,” Marvin greeted. 

Whizzer laughed, rolled his eyes. “Oh, whatever, I look like shit.”

“You do not. You just look tired.”

“Stayed up too late studying,” Whizzer answered, with a shrug. “Teachers are relentless. I have four tests this week.”

“Ugh,” Marvin groaned. “Are they hard?”

Whizzer gave another shrug. “I’m bad at math in general, so that one won’t be great. The rest aren’t bad, I guess. I just don’t want to do them.”

“Math isn’t that bad.”

“Math is worse than Satan himself.”

Marvin snickered, rolling his eyes. “You’ll do well, so don’t stress out too much. You’re smart.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You are.”

Whizzer changed the topic. “What about you? How’s school going on your end?”

Marvin shrugged. “Fine. Boring. Same as usual.”

“Man, I wish my school was boring.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Lots of stuff. I’ll tell you later.” Marvin only stared at him expectantly, so he quickly added on, “My parents are here. I don’t want to talk about it when they might hear.”

“That bad?”

Whizzer shrugged. 

They talked for another hour or two, before Marvin’s family came back and before Whizzer was called for dinner. Whizzer had changed the topic quite a bit while they were talking, clearly trying to avoid almost everything about school. Almost everything about his social life in general, really. 

It definitely raised some red flags. Marvin _knew_ that there was something going on, by now. And he knew that it wasn’t just studying and tests that was keeping Whizzer up at night, that was making him so tired and stressed out. 

God, Marvin would give absolutely anything to be able to just send Whizzer out here, out to his aunt’s house, and hold him for hours, talk to him, keep him safe, so that all of his worries and fears would melt away. 

***

Whizzer knew that he shouldn’t be hiding things from Marvin like that. But he did. 

It kind of weighed on him later that night, long after they’d hung up. When he was laying in bed, staring at his wall. That was when he thought the most, anyway. When all of the thing he was stressed about really got to him. It was late, and he knew that he should’ve just waited until after school the next day, but he reached over to his side table, grabbing his phone. 

**to: marv <3 **   
_you awake?_

He almost deleted it and put his phone away, but he didn’t. He let it send. And he was surprised by how quickly he got a response. 

**from: marv <3 **  
_Yeah. Are you okay?_

Whizzer almost backed out and said that he was fine. He was sure that Marvin was seeing through that by now. And he couldn’t just keep lying to him like that anymore. 

**to: marv <3 **   
_can’t sleep. i don’t want to go to school tomorrow._

Talking was easier when it was actually just texting. He didn’t have to worry about seeing Marvin’s facial expressions. He didn’t have to see the sympathy, the worry. He didn’t want it. 

**from: marv <3 **   
_Do you want to talk about it?_

**to: marv <3 **   
_people are just so mean._   
_i’ve never talked to half of these people in my life, and they’re all talking bad about me. rumors, name calling._   
_and it’s not even behind my back anymore. they aren’t trying to hide it at all._

Whizzer didn’t get a response right away. Part of him said that he just wouldn’t get one. That he should just give up on waiting and go to bed. 

So he did. He put his phone away and pulled the covers over his head. He fell asleep before he could hear the final beep from his phone. 

**from: marv <3 **   
_I’m coming to get you. I don’t give a fuck what your parents say._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch it marvin


	21. hiatus? sort of?

hi everyone that’s been reading my work!!

i’m just going to apologize now, for the lack of uploads, lack of content, and so on. i’ve been going through an awful case of writer’s block, and haven’t liked anything that i’ve written for about a month now, to be honest. i feel horrible for not updating any of my fanfictions, especially when i know how many of you out there have been waiting. i just wasn’t at all happy with how any of it was turning out. i tried rewriting a few chapters multiple times, and hated everything that came out of it. 

i’m not giving up on writing, but i think i’m going to give up on the few fics i’ve been working on previously. i’m starting a new one right now, and i’m super happy with the plot and how it’s going so far. i can’t wait to share it with everyone! i’ve been working on my writing styles and i think i’ve found something, similar to my old one but more descriptive, that i like better, that i’m testing out with this new fic that i’m working on. 

to recap, i’m so sorry for not providing any new content. thank you for all of the amazing comments, reviews, likes and so on - i appreciate every single one of you. and if you’re interested, a new story should be up very soon.

:’) ❤️


	22. update!

hi all!!!

sorry abt such a long hiatus, but, i have good news! i'm going to be continuing this!

but!! i think i'm going to rewrite it. i've developed a new writing style, sort of - i like to be more descriptive and such. also, there were a few things in here that i could've done differently, and i think i'd like to experiment on that. so, yes! same story, same plot ideas, but hopefully better than this one came out. i'm hoping to get chapter one up tonight, if not a few more. thanks to those of you that have stuck by throughout the hiatus, love you!!!!!


	23. final update oop

hiiiii yes i know i said i was going to have it up like two days ago but,,,,,

oOpS

it's up now though! feel free to take a look!

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011498/chapters/34796243


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